Connecting Dots

the end of man

2026-10-27T00:00:00Z

“Just make a choice.” Radical freedom comes from an understanding of “existence precedes essence.” We can only be free to choose who we are once we understand we are nothing. The choice to be radically free is the first choice of an unending series of choices one must make. The number, weight, and complexity of these choices do not diminish. Still, we make that first choice to be free. Before it, no choice has ever been made. Most people die before ever making a choice.

So then, how does one come to understand the truth that there is no truth? Man must be in nature. Man in his most natural state, free from all but himself, is man in nature. From nature we have built abstractions, labels to escape the existential. Outside of nature, you are numb to the ever pressing and dreadful questions of existential weight. You become a mummy of a man, wrapped in the labels of society. But in nature, what is a man but dust from dust. Only in nature are you truly free to see the world and yourself, nothing.

See, society is a set of abstractions from nature, built on the foundational structures of the world. It is an amalgamation such that the truths become convoluted, enough to the point we can mimic existence without its weight. You can claim a semblance of meaning, perhaps great meaning if you collect enough labels. But it is nothing more than the wrappings of a skeleton.

Yet man must still be in the world. Man was not meant to live in the cave. Has the underground man not proven as much? Zarathustra comes down from the mountain, lives in the world, returns to his cave, and comes out again. Take two fundamental truths, abstract upon them, and you get a construct: a custom, an institution, a society. However, by experiencing society and taking that construct apart, we can understand the fundamental truths it was derived from, and discover new ones that were never put into it. From nature, in the world, to nature: from nature we are born, in the world to experience, and in nature to understand.

This is why the greatest of men, most creative of men, are men of nature. Creativity is the arrangement of an assortment of building blocks in a manner never done before. However, this requires a fundamental understanding of every block of every kind (at least of the ones we put to use). Such is the reason the greatest minds (creatives) studied math, wrote poetry, built sculptures, and taught philosophy.

The world is made of fundamental truths, many of which we cannot grasp. We must, then, grasp as many abstractions, as low as possible, across many fields to derive the sets of fundamental truths upon which they were built. Without a hold of these fundamental truths, we can only work with man-made abstractions and be blinded by abstracted fixation (functional fixation).

Now more than ever, nature and creativity is at risk. AI can give you the blocks of abstractions and even arrange them, but it lacks the fundamental depth of understanding that creativity requires, and without that depth it can only fall into the predictable state of functional fixation.

The cure is twofold: be in nature and study those who were in nature. Only a creative who has experienced radical freedom of inspiration could write the following: “...one can still hardly reject the idea of being a mere incarnation, a mere mouthpiece, a mere medium... Everything happens involuntarily in the highest degree, yet in a tempestuous feeling of freedom, of being unconditioned, of power, of divinity. The involuntariness of the image and metaphor is the most remarkable of all... everything offers itself as the nearest, most appropriate, simplest expression” - Nietzsche. The profundity with which he stated thus and subtitled Zarathustra “A Book for All and None,” is beyond measure.

My [[im just falling for an indefinite time|poems]] the embodiment of these two realizations. Nobody understands the imagery in them but me, even I find myself unable to recall at times the meaning imbued. Yet they are for everyone, because the images come to me as revelations, the purest form of expression I have. I find my hands becoming a conduit for the ink to flow, for the unconscious to violently manifest into the world; "The whole of Zarathustra is an explosion of forces that have been accumulating for decades” - Nietzsche.

This then is man, as free as he was meant to be: to experience and reflect thereupon. “We must constantly give birth to our thoughts out of our pain, and nurture them with everything we have” - Nietzsche. We must remain vigilant yet free, for when the wind of inspiration comes, we must be ready to fly away with it. “Those who feel the impulse to pursue the path of enlightenment should immediately take the step, and not defer it while they attend to all the other things on their mind... There will be no end to it all, and the day of decision will never come.” - Kenkō

My greatest desire is to spend every day learning and experiencing, developing my understanding and collection of blocks, so that I may, in moments of inspiration, architect a marvel the world has never seen.

im just falling for an indefinite time

2026-09-27T01:58:00Z

“Just.” Not in the sense of justice, but of simplicity. Just.

A word perhaps more idealistic than justice. How could anything “just” be? How could anyone “just” be? How could anyone “just” choose.

I hate it. I hate how it strips away at everything. All the theories and justification gone.

Laid bare like a man stripped of his clothes laying in the sand as the torrent of indifferent waves come crashing over you berating you with the cold hard facts of the world that you can no longer intellectualize away. Sputtering the man is covered in sand that won’t be brushed off by mere lumps of flesh nor covered by the sewn fig leaves.

What then does the philosopher do? What must every man do? What can I do but slowly tread through the water.

“I’m cold.” Walk.
“I’m sad.” Walk.
“I’m lonely.” Walk.

ihatethisiwanttobuildmybabelagainandflyawaywhereicanlaughattheonesbelowwalkingtotheirdeathasisoarthroughtheheavenswhosaidmencouldnotfly?

Take a deep breath in, hold, and exhale. Feel the muscles in your face relax.

I imagine … no, I tell you that this feeling is one of a man’s face dropping the moment he steps and realizes no more sand awaits him.

Just fall.

The only time “just” truly is “just.” Life has never been this simple for the philosopher. Just a choice to feel weightless. Unburdened by any thoughts, how did he fly before?

Now, the reader must be shouting, “JUST SWIM!” However

i am just falling

isekai

2026-06-27T00:00:00Z

i.
to be felled with misfortune
at hands of your own
laying under cries
whose faces you recall
must be better than ascending
in spires anointed with oil
suffocating under prayers
whose tongue you never learned

ii.
what is a king in foreign land
draped with silk
doused in spices
powdered by praise
he must’ve believed himself to be one

yet when he rests his dust remains restless
for the clay from whence he came
was not the ground in which he lay

better a beggar in streets
from whence was borne
uncovered and reeking
crying ‘poor tom’

iii.
to masquerade in a casket of native soil
a foreign soul
proved an arduous task

novelty i suppose
was followed by awe
only to regress politely
demanding a response
only to turn into confusion
with every passing second
for a man that never learned
to walk

Thinking in the Age of AI

2026-05-21T00:00:00Z

Computers can compute, AI can compute; it can compute better than us.

We are not compute-ers (one who computes). We are thinkers.

AI can't reason abstractly or reason across domains like humans. That requires curiosity and insight → learning how to think: how to ask questions, how to process information, how to synthesize information, how to articulate one's thoughts.

Philosophy teaches how to ask questions, evaluate common-held beliefs, articulate oneself, process information, synthesize information. This is why I'm doing philosophy.

am the judge pentitent

2026-03-26T00:00:00Z

a judge penitent,
the most condemned and pitiful of all

takes pride in being aware of his own brokenness
makes pleasure in understanding his own depravity
and so
he cannot receive a savior, one to absolve his unlinked chains
is left condemned

revels in his own veracity, hiding none to share all
gloats in enlightening men of their own lies
and so
he stands naked, lamenting his solitude
must be pitied

the judge penitent,
for whom there is no savior or lover,
wishes to be sought and neighbored by all

start living, actually

2026-02-24T00:00:00Z

"be cringe." 321k likes. 54.4k reposts. 92.2k shares. 1k comments. a random guy, telling everyone to be themselves. how many of those people actually went and did something cringe?

silently, behind the likes, shares, even hate, everyone respects those who are authentic. perhaps we don't agree with their views, maybe we even think they're cringe. but we can't deny that we respect their courage: the courage to be hated, scorned, isolated ... to break the mold.

outwardly we say, "i could never be like that guy." to our friends, we ask, "what is that guy doing?" even to ourselves, we explain, "he's just weird. i'm on the right path."

until, those silent likes gain traction. until, that weird idea clicks. until, they make it. now, it's no longer against the status quo to respect them. now, we can admire them publicly. now, it's wrong to even hate them: "they took a risk and succeeded, how could you resent them?"

but, they've already made it, long before the success, fame, recognition. the moment they decided to be cringe, they already won. to those who live authentically, the greatest reward is the freedom to be—not a physical or social construct.

it's ironic. society wants people who follow the mold, but rewards those who break it. individually, we all want to be ourselves. collectively, we agree that authenticity is to be ridiculed.

this isn't like my usual post. it's not an essay with articulate logic, nor a poem with verbose artistry. but, it's the embodiment of all my posts. i write, not because i'm good, but because i can. i share, not because my words are worth listening to, but because i want to. our three greatest gifts are to live, think, feel. my blog is the expression of those gifts.

as i live, i see things. as i live, i meet people, as i live, i become something.
as i see, meet, become, i think. what i think turns into an essay.
as i see, meet, become, i feel. what i feel turns into a poem.
as i live, i write.

as i write, i share.
as i share, i become. i understand myself and become.
as i share, i meet. i meet people who are changed by me.
as i share, i see. i see connections in everything everywhere everytime.
as i write, i become something. as i write, i meet people. as i write, i see things.

some things, you won't know unless you live authentically:
you won't know how it feels having someone tell you your poetry made them feel understood.
you won't know how it feels to be flown out to Washington, D.C. and talk on a panel to a room of billionaires
you won't know how it feels having someone come up to you in a hotel lobby at 6 am asking, "are you that blogger?"
you won't know how it feels shaving your hair because you stopped caring about what others think about your appearance.
you won't know how it feels to book a flight to malaysia a week before school starts and run around on the highway shirtless.
you won't know how it feels
to live.

so, be cringe. no, don't just like this post, reply to my story telling me it was good, go to bed thinking you'll do something tomorrow.

live authentically, now. or you might never get to.

no, start living.

Reflections on Faith, a Series

2026-01-18T00:00:00Z

Introduction

“Why do you believe in God?”

Over the years, I’ve been asked, and have given various answers to this question. From pithy saying like “Jesus loves me” to profound articulations––“His ineffable, inexplicable, but overwhelming presence …” ––I’ve always found an answer. But were one to ask me now, I could only respond with “I don’t know … if He even exists.”

Raised in a pastoral household, I was nurtured on doubt and faith. My earliest memories comprise of clutching my bible in one hand, a scribbled list of questions in the other, and running to my father. A debate would ensue, perhaps for minutes or even hours, but it would always end with a biblical truth: God is good, God is love, God is just. Satisfied with his argument, I would go back, meditating on his words.

However, my faith was nominal, theoretical. I knew scripture, but didn't believe. Only in 2023 did I finally encounter God and profess my faith.

Since then, I have been living a "Christian" life: daily prayer, scripture reading, worship, etc. I would even evangelize at secular conferences, start worship sessions in my hotel room, debate theology with strangers, and write essays exploring Christianity.

Outwardly, I was the ideal Christian; pastors, parents, peers, even non-believers would applaud my "spiritual maturity," "intellect," "love for Christ." And inwardly, I identified with it because it was easy, satisfying, and socially valued.

Now, I am shattering my faith, on purpose. My faith was comparable to a wine glass: an exquisite and beautiful top ... with frail support. I was so enraptured by the manifestations of faith (and what it provided me) that I overlooked my basis of faith.

Fundamentals

Above, I mentioned overlooking the basis of my faith, but failed to define it. This is my personal understanding on the basis of faith: a belief in the existence and perfect nature of God. One must believe that a) God exists b) God is perfect. The second condition, often overlooked, is equally important as the first; the imperfection of God allows for a polytheistic belief including the Christian God.

How one comes to fulfill these requirements is debated. Put simply, the Calvinists believe in God's choice and irresistible grace, meaning one is pre-destined (or not) for salvation and cannot do anything to change it. The Armenians believe in one's free will to choose salvation and possibility of losing it.

For transparency, I lean Calvinist on the mater of pre-destination. Fundamentally, I believe that faith can only come from an epistemically transformative experience allowed by the Holy Spirit.

Exposition of Endeavor

In this section I will exposit the cause, purpose, and goal of this series.

This piece is the introduction to a series of essays will cover the following topics and more: dogmatization of faith, paradox of rationality, atmospheric worship (and spiritual highs), religious identity, an argument against monotheism, and the uniqueness of Christianity.

Coming to Princeton and engaging with the Christian community, I was dismayed. Here, where the brightest minds gathered, people could not articulate their faith. Friends confessed they didn't question God out of convenience, people wrapped their dogmatized faith in pithy saying like "God can't be understood with human reason," believers acted without understanding why.

My conviction grew after taking a philosophy class on existential commitments and religion. For the first time, I read well-articulated, logical, and scientific reasons for multiple faiths (and lack thereof). For the first time, I was challenged to question everything about my faith.

With these experiences, I decided that college would be the opportune time to destroy and rebuild my faith. Because college is one's last protected microcosm of the real world, it's essential to find one's identity before graduating. Without a sense of identity or direction, it's inevitable to be lost. If one can't find the time to tackle questions that matter when a) there's an abundance of resources, b) it's socially acceptable to feel lost, and c) we don't have bills to pay, I doubt they'd find it any easier to tackle those questions later in life. For an example of what happens when we fail to tackle those questions, until it's too late, read my essay on "The Death of Ivan Ilyich".

Beyond my experiences in college, there are three explicit reasons for re-evaluating my faith and writing this series.

The first and foremost reason is this: a strong faith must have a strong foundation. This means that I need to question, and resolve an answer myself on, God's existence and perfect nature. In my years of listening to sermons and reading scripture, I never truly questioned either of those premises of faith. Now, I am asking questions like "are 'spiritual encounters' just the overwhelming of sensory perceptions causing an automatic attribution of the divine" and "why could God not be imperfect and coexist with other gods?" Without understanding and accepting the premises of faith myself—not because my pastor, parents, or friends claimed it true—and reconciling them with scientific/logical explanations, I can never truly have faith. Furthermore, a weak foundation for faith will inedibility fail in times of crisis. Better to rebuild my faith with a sound mind than have it rupture in crisis.

Second, I believe most "Christians" don't understand their faith. They go through the motions of faith, and perhaps even believe in God, but they do not understand. That is inevitable: Because they do not question, they do not understand. Questions—like "what is the meaning of the Apostles Creed", "what does it mean that Christ, of fully human flesh, died on the cross," "what does it mean that God loves me"—are being failed to be asked. They resign themselves to dogma in the name of "faith." Faith is not a dogma.

The final reason lies in 1 Peter 3:15, "... always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you." If I want to defend my faith and evangelize it, I need to a) come to faith myself, and b) understand my faith. Attempting to debate and assert one's faith without having come to it and understanding it oneself is nothing by hypocrisy, even if the subject of faith is valid.

Through this series I hope to find, understand, and appreciate my faith in capacities I couldn't before. If you haven't questioned your faith, I urge you to following along and do so yourself. If you have, I hope you can follow me and provide guidance along the journey.

For updates on this series, subscribe to my newsletter here.

Disclaimers

Because I am currently re-evaluating my faith, my usage of personal pronouns may vary; i.e. "the Christian believes" vs "I believe."

Unless stated otherwise, "God" with a capital "G" will refer to the Christian God and "bible" will refer to the canonical christian bible.

This series will refer to Christian, atheist, and other religious philosophers. I will clearly indicate and provide references when consulting outside sources.

I highly recommend checking out the Christian fellowships on campus if you're a Princeton student. I said I was "dismayed," but overall, the community is great. Even as I write this, I'm seeking help from peers and mentors in that community.

I am not a theologian. I am prone to error. I recognize my lack of knowledge. If you disagree or find errors in any of my works, please reach out at ikblog301@gmail.com

Neighborly love

2026-01-03T00:00:00Z

"The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" —Mark 12:30-31

"'Love believes all things,' for to believe all things means precisely, even though love is not apparent, even though the opposite is seen, to presuppose that love is nevertheless present fundamentally, even in the misguided, even in the corrupt, even in the hateful." —Kierkegaard

Neighborly love ... what a fascinating concept. To love, only for the fact that they are human. An unconditional love—that to exist, to be one's neighbor, is the only condition. That under such a condition, love can never cease; one can never cease to love.

Living in the third person

2026-01-03T00:00:00Z

"Sometimes, it's like you're living in the third person."

It takes courage to feel, to be opinionated. To take a stand for something.

In my cowardice and ignorance, I rationalize and appeal to authority.

When presented with an unrequited love, I explained, "This feeling isn't love ... I'm just trying to understand this epistemically transformative phenomena."

"Well, Buddha would say, Hegel claims, Kierkegaard wrote ... " My friend responded, "But I want to know what Isaac thinks, not Buddha."

be just another human soul

2025-11-25T00:00:00Z

Can you claim to behold,
cupping a flame,
the breadth with which
it breathes?

Or does it cease to breathe,
clasped by the torments
of the mind?

For the clutches of the mind corrupt,
leaving only what can be known,
forsaking the unseen.

Does a poet not lament their hands,
an artist, their tongue?

But what is ineffable to the stanza,
what can't be immortalized by the canvas?

Neither the poet nor the artist understand,
yet they see what reason cannot.

Woe is the man who thinks,
for he blinds himself
with knowledge.

Woe is the man who cannot see,
for behold, heaven is before him,
but his sputtering flames
closes his gates.

Apatathetic drug

2025-10-24T00:00:00Z

"What is hell? I maintain that it is the suffering of being unable to love." - Dostoevsky

"Tis Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" - Alfred

Removing yourself, your emotions, from the world numbs the pain, but also the joy

To put yourself out there is to accept you can get hurt, but it's a small cost to live, love, laugh

Why do we love sad romance movies/shows? Because we feel. Because we walked the journey, went through highs and lows, and can look back and say, "it was a good walk"

I've felt too much and nothing. It's good to feel, but in moderation. Then, a medium is needed to express excess feelings. Poetry, writing, and thinking is how I express and process my feelings.

is it already time for your return

2025-10-09T00:00:00Z

when her sterling glistens gold,
when her scorch burns with warmth,
you know,
She has come.

underneath her gaze,
flowing with Her breath,
she adorned a transient shade.
her skin, silk, strand
fleeting with Her palette.

She comes not
in "the solstice", "changing of leaves", or "biting cold"

She is in
her clicking of heels, cinnamon wisp, emboldening leather.

She has come to break my fall,
so I call her,
Fall.

i had a dream

2025-09-22T00:00:00Z

what is a revolution?
a,
revolution is

to
fathom its heights,
dare not.
yet
scale with
hope, a
faith?

assured of things,
hope becomes faith.

dangerous, that faith
where was it placed?

but I smelled it,
kneaded a dozen.
but I felt it,
a dry cotton.

but I need it,
a,
mirage.

let me chase it,
something,
a,
hope
though false.

you say,
the revolt has failed.

existed—
a,
paradox.
—never.

beyond, lies,
I saw.

a,
to build atop
the wall
we climbed.

to have fallen,
before zenith,
maybe
a blessing
for the faithful.

a,
vanity.

drop

Painting Our Sky

2025-09-06T00:00:00Z

Canvas lay with a scroll unrolled
Strokes from above

Musing with a glance, He soaks
Hint of a ripen peach

Such wouldn't be grown on green
Only in the coral simmerings

Glimpses behind a veil
Dashes of light bestowed in ink

Laying hair, settling dust
He lowers a gaze

Beholding heavens we raise

His Shattered Glass

2025-08-26T00:00:00Z

From above we came,
in His likeness,
for His being

Like shattered glass,
We reflect a piece of divine

Like shattered glass,
We scatter amok

Artists and poets,
Bards and dancers,
We seek the scattered

Bit by bit,
Piece by piece,
Fragments of a divine soul

Like a webbed mirror,
We reflect

A shine,
A garment,
A cry

We reflect the Creator with fragments of glass,
Come together shattered beings of light

She Laughed Like the Leaves

2025-07-07T00:00:00Z

"Let's live, just for today."

That day, I learned leaves could laugh.

Maybe it was fate, a twisted joke for the Weavers. But I don't believe in fate, not any more.

It was serendipity. A blowing of winds.

Truly, a blowing of winds.

Dante's Inferno never felt so real. His artistic craft, flowing lines, revolting imagery … no it was the heat.

A heat that seeps through your nose and chokes the life from your throat. A heat that claws at your skin, sticky hands from the crevices of hell.

Before slipping into its grasp, a ruffling of hair, lifting of garments.

Murmuring a thanks, I lifted my gaze. But meeting mine, was Hers.

I said I didn't believe in fate. But that moment, no other word could describe.

Ephemeral.

Unrestrained smile, free from the ashes of man.

Dewy eyes, glistening drops of light.

Perky ears, inviting the weary at heart.

That was me, weary at heart.

Though, not just at heart, apparently.

"Did you know, when you stop speaking, the world starts whispering."

Before I could stutter a response, She grasped my hands and laid my lids.

"Shhh."

"Just listen."

Carried by Her melody, I drifted into a world unseen.

Soaring blues were birds,
Choreographing their dance before parting 'til chance.

Storming plants were ants,
Each to their due, united accrue.

Breathing life were trees,
A constant flow: noticed by none, needed by all.

Simplest of life, clothed by Creation.

Leaves, reaching for Her touch.

Birds, calling for Her love.

Wind, dancing for Her silk.

Sun, yearning for Her glow.

Greeting me was Her visage.

Immortal.

"No one rebukes the birds for roaming the skies. Nor the ants for working their mounds. Who could breathe, if not for the silent trees."

"So why try to be, something you're not?"

With a grin, She turned Her back.

But not before adding, "Your face said it all."

As Her steps grew smaller, I chased with conviction.

I was a Yo-Yo, She was the hand.

She beckoned me forth, I yielded my path.

Their Strings worked, in mysterious ways.

"You know, I've always wanted to ride a bike."

With a childish squeal, She leaned back. Ebony silk brushed strokes in the sky.

Under such a sky, I hunched forward. Precision with every step, I cycled.

"One, two, three. One, two, three."

Breaking my cadence, She leaned forward and whispered, "Isn't the river beautiful?"

River? What river? Were we biking by a river?

Unconvinced by my hesitant, "Yeah …", She sighed.

"What's the point of biking if you're not going to enjoy it?"

"While you're hunched forward, squinting your eyes, life is moving by."

One, two. One …

Gears grinding to a halt, I looked back.

Not at how far I've come, but how much I've missed. Lilacs coloring the green, salmon jumping the bank, children picnicking by the shade.

Since when did biking become so technical? Where did the love, my childish love, go?

Rushing down the neighborhood hill, running from homework, ripping through the trails.

"Let yourself go. By the time you're at the finish line, it'll be too late."

Seeing Her so serious, I couldn't help but smile.

"Thank you."

Replacing my cadence was our laughter. Rather than my pedaling, the wind carried us further.

I wasn't cycling, we were flying.

When was the last time I laughed so freely?

Back at our Eden, we watched an orange glow crown the dusk aglow.

Yet, She shone the night.

Cast with a golden shade,
Strands of ink caressing Her jade

Snowy hands, etched from marble
Enchanting eyes, tears from a goddess

Her lips parted, giving way to light
Her lines danced, granting me sight

Skies spewed sparks as She graced the clouds,
Winds sang symphony as She leaped the ashes

Heaven's jealousy.

woe is he
he who sees
he who yearns
for what he cannot

though artists stroke
bards enchant
poets lavish
all in vain

Pygmalion

Turn.

Eyes.

Smile.

Though a picture worth thousand words,
words unsaid carry a life.

'I did not die, and yet I lost life's breath.'

In Her dewy eyes, was a fog.

In Her unrestrained smile, was a pause.

In Her perky ears, was a droop.

Grabbing a leaf She said, "We're like leaves. Falling the moment we're born, destined to lay the ground. But amidst this fall, the wind blows us to places unforeseen."

Shedding Her laughter was a glimpse. A glimpse of stories untold, breaths forsaken, prayers hollowed.

"I'm glad the wind blew me to you."

Fiddling with Her leaf, I lay in bed. The day passed was a dream for the years.

Would She be there again?

Drip. Drip. Drip.

Whir. Whir. Whir.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Cacophony of life, or lack thereof, filled the circle.

Nine doctors circled an angel.

An angel slipped through their crevice.

Beeeep.

snip

Roll.

A yo-yo cut from its string rolls.

Rolls where the wind blows.

Huff. Huff. Huff.

A leaf never seemed so fragile. Her rosy red lips, now a bloodless gray. Her vibrant frame, now a stringless marionette.

Haaa.

I could only let out a dry laugh.

Even as She lay cold, devoid of life, Her spirit couldn't be killed.

Smile

She slept with a smile.

Laying beside Her was a letter.

If you're reading this, it means I'm laying beneath the tree, alongside the other leaves.

Sometimes I ask my nurse, "What does the sun, the air, the grass feel like?"

But you see that tree outside? When the wind blows, some of the leaves fly away. Far from this sterile place.

Maybe one day, the wind will take me away. Dancing in the breeze like the leaves.

There's not much to do here, so I listen. Listen to the wind, the trees, the leaves. Because when you stop talking, the world starts whispering.

If you listen closely, the leaves laugh as they fall. They laugh for freedom. They laugh for flying. They laugh for being.

The leaves don't cry, curse their fate to face the earth. They laugh. And so will I.

Some leaves float,
While others drop.

Some turn gold,
While others go cold.

I can't say I had the longest flight,
But I have seen the light.

We've flown past herds like the birds,
Worked those slants like the ants,
Sang our breeze like the trees.

When the wind blows,
Your sorrow goes.

Please, let it go.

Close your eyes,
Hear their whisper.

When the leaves fall,
Laugh on my behalf.

Because I flew,
laughing.

The heavens were jealous. Jealous of Her unmarred spirit, jealous of Her carefree laugh, jealous of Her unwavering strength.

Jealous She defied fate.

Yesterday, I learned to live.

Yesterday, I learned leaves laugh while falling.

Paradox of the grand scheme

2025-07-03T00:00:00Z

"In the grand scheme of things, xyz doesn’t matter"

Indeed, in the grand scheme of things, one heartbreak, one failed test, etc. does not matter.

However, the grand scheme of things is shaped by the summation of small everyday things, like habits—rather than one big life changing moment, though those do exist.

Your small everyday changes the course/trajectory of your life; 0.1 degrees doesn’t mean much at first, but over decades of "flying," you end up somewhere completely different.

Live fully in the present with regard for the future. By living "in the grand scheme of things," one loses out on the present.

Calypso

2025-07-02T00:00:00Z

drip. drip. drip.
ripples in the water

my frozen beat, thawed

from where you come,
to ripple my peace?
/
one. two. three.
a picture. a laugh. a smile.

echo across my sea

how long will you stay,
how many ripples will you make?
/
pat. pat. pat.
sing me to sleep

become my peace

do I dare to dream,
of a river withheld?
/
. . .
broken peace
brought me ease

but a ripple needs a still,
so I freeze once again

for when a river
thaws my beat.

Intelligence Beyond the 'g' Factor

2025-06-29T00:00:00Z

Introduction

Mhmm. Hmm. A droning lullaby resounded in the jail cell.

No, not quite. This cell had windows.

Ah. It was AP Psych.

I was first introduced to Spearman's and Gardner's theories of intelligence in my AP Psychology class. As I was writing down the lecture notes for Spearman, I found myself hesitating.

"Is this really true?"

Disclaimer: This essay is not intended to undermine decades of established psychometric research, but rather to offer an alternative lens through which we might understand intelligence and the correlations Spearman observed.

Howard Gardner proposes 9 separate domains of intelligence: naturalist, linguistic, logical-mathematical, musical, spatial, bodily-kinesthetic, intrapersonal, interpersonal, and existential. His theory claims that intelligence or ability in any one of these fields is not necessarily correlated with other domains. In other words, there is no "general intelligence—g" that underlies all mental abilities, as Spearman suggests.

In this essay, I hope to develop a more nuanced understanding of "intelligence." This is not a definitive claim of understanding intelligence, but a catalyst for discussion.

General Intelligence

General intelligence is defined by the Myers' Psychology textbook: "according to Spearman and others, underlies all mental abilities and is therefore measured by every task on an intelligence test."

General intelligence is supported by statistical correlational analysis. Indeed, many who score high on logical-mathematical intelligence tests may score well on spatial intelligence tests. Take theoretical physics where multidimensional analyses and mathematical prowess are required. Theoretical physicists will no doubt score highly in those two domains. At the same time, they may be the most musically and interpersonally challenged people we know. Likewise, a rhetorician will score highly on linguistic and logical-mathematical intelligence; rhetoric is, after all, the art of articulating logical arguments. Yet again, this doesn't mean that their musical or bodily-kinesthetic abilities are just as, or more likely to be, outstanding.

There can be correlation in intelligence between fields. However, the rarity of an individual with intelligence encompassing all 9 domains, even within the ranks of the genius, suggests that the correlation is not caused by an underlying general intelligence but another factor.

Redefining "g"

Underlying intelligence, in any field, is curiosity, perceptivity, and receptivity. The ability to question, see, and understand develops a passion and talent for select domains, translating into "intelligence." By effect, I believe that Spearman's notion of “g” is simply a measure of one’s perceptivity, receptivity, and curiosity that drives a desire for learning and exploration in different fields.

However, this understanding of "g" alone does not explain the correlation within fields of intelligence. A more nuanced understanding of intelligence and "g" will require an analysis of the intellect's disposition for curiosity and the resulting interdisciplinary thought.

Previously, I defined "g" as the underlying perceptivity, receptivity, and curiosity towards certain experiences and ideas. While true, I would argue that this definition could be simplified to "an underlying curiosity of experiences and ideas." This is because curiosity trains perceptivity and receptivity. The ability to perceive, or see, new ideas is built upon a curiosity to explore the unknown. Likewise, the ability to receive, or accept, new ideas is based on a curiosity that refuses to accept dogmas and explore the possibilities of challenging the accepted.

With the premise that curiosity drives the pursuit of knowledge, which develops intelligence, an explanation of intellectual correlation can be derived. Because intelligence is developed by a pursuit of knowledge, which is driven by curiosity, it can be reasoned that the highly intellectual are highly curious. It is this curiosity that develops an interdisciplinary correlation.

Interdisciplinary Thought

When we think of minds that exemplify this principle, DaVinci comes to mind: artist, inventor, mathematician, physiologist. Driven by curiosity, he achieved great feats in an array of fields. Rather than seeing the various fields as isolated silos, DaVinci saw them as interconnected scaffolds—structures where insights from one field build upon theories from another. What set DaVinci apart was his ability to synthesize multiple disciplines. His art captivates because he understood human physiology; his inventions innovated because he mastered mathematics and physics.

More abstractly, everything—from technology to theology—is connected. All disciplines are an attempt at uncovering "truth"—the truth of our existence, reality, being—in each discipline's unique way. This search is analogous to attempting to uncover the same archeological finding with different tools. Perhaps poetry is used to find the site, mathematics to map it, and physics to dig it. Truth, or the complete understanding of our reality, can only be found with a variety of disciplines or tools. The only way to find new insights is to find inspiration and learn from other domains.

DaVinci, the curious genius, understood this principle of interdisciplinary thought. This principle is not limited to DaVinci. Aristotle's systematic curiosity drove him across philosophy, biology, politics, and rhetoric, creating foundational works that drew connections between ethics and politics, between observation of nature and logical reasoning.

In more recent times, we can look to Steve Jobs. As he reflected, "You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future." The revolutionary design of the Mac computer emerged not from pure technical knowledge, but because Jobs had taken a random calligraphy class years earlier. His curiosity about typography, combined with his understanding of technology and human psychology, created something entirely new. The dots connected backwards—curiosity about beautiful letterforms transformed how we interact with computers.

Curiosity, the driving factor behind intelligence, cultivated at a high level leads to interdisciplinary thought because a pursuit of truth at a high intellectual level will inevitably lead to other disciplines. A high intellectual ability and understanding within one domain necessitates an understanding of other fields.

Thus, while distinct disciplines have their own unique forms of intelligence, the observed correlation among highly intellectual individuals across fields isn't due to an innate, singular 'general intelligence.' Instead, it's a testament to a cultivated curiosity that naturally drives them towards interdisciplinary thought and, consequently, proficiency in related domains.

The correlation in fields of intelligence that Spearman found is simply the byproduct of an underlying capacity for curiosity, and therefore, interdisciplinary thought. Rather than possessing some underlying "general intelligence," what drives performance across diverse fields is an insatiable curiosity and a tendency to see connections where others might see separation.

A Personal Reflection

In my own experience, this perspective on intelligence is more satisfactory. In my AP Psychology class, when I first learned about Spearman's g-factor, something felt incomplete about the explanation. Here I was, someone who finds equal fascination in writing poetry and studying financial engineering, in exploring philosophical questions and training neural networks. My curiosity doesn't recognize disciplinary boundaries—insights from theology inform my economic thinking, mathematical concepts inspire my creative writing, and psychological principles shape my philosophical explorations.

Rather than possessing some underlying "general intelligence," I believe what drives my performance across these diverse fields is an insatiable curiosity and a tendency to see connections where others might see separation. When I study financial models, I'm drawn to their philosophical implications. When I write poetry, I find myself applying logical structures I've learned elsewhere. This isn't because I have high "g"—it's because curiosity has trained me to look for bridges between seemingly unrelated domains.

Conclusion

Redefining the correlation of general intelligence as a result of curiosity and interdisciplinary thought, not an underlying mental ability, offers a more nuanced view of intelligence.

Beyond redefining general intelligence, the analysis reveals the importance of curiosity and interdisciplinary thought. The exploration of geniuses and those with a high "g" factor reveals the vital role curiosity and interdisciplinary thought play in intelligence.

While defining "intelligence" is beyond the scope of this piece, and I definitely have much to learn, I hope it's gotten you to stop and think. Perhaps even prompted you to question "what is intelligence?"

If there's one takeaway from this piece, it's to never stop questioning. Keep questioning, keep learning.

Poet in the Mountains

2025-06-20T00:00:00Z

Simmerings of life rushing below,
Wine to the weary behold

A lone ballad gives rise to chorus,
Seraphim of the forest

Hollow beats in search of nirvana,
Chanting monks in asana

Carved by history and marveled by man,
Stone to see our span

Lay in this eden long enough,
You'll find yourself a poet
soon enough

Til Fated Reunion

2025-04-06T00:00:00Z

I envision a man, gently rowing his boat
Wooden oars gliding through his passage

I envision a cherry blossom, adorning the branches of fate
Silently adored by a pensive gaze

I envision the river, flowing once more
Petals of the tree, flying once more
Gaze of the man, set straight once more

But I see the flowers caressing our sky
Even as he rows along, a petal lands on the wooden oar

Though the man set his sights ahead,
Breeze of memories ripples his river

Upon looking back, he is greeted by
Sakura of memories, fluttering across the sky
Branches of fate, waving across its river
Waters calmed, now a tranquil still

Petals once adored have been adjourned,
To when unbeknownst to man.
But for now, the man lay down his oar,
Rising with melancholy
Of sakura once admired on its branch.

Game Theory and Relationships: The Win Null Strategy

2025-04-03T00:00:00Z

Introduction to Game Theory

Game theory is the study of strategic decision-making, analyzing how individuals or groups interact to achieve optimal outcomes.

In typical game theory, the option with the highest possible reward usually requires higher risk. Take the famous Prisoner's Dilemma as an example. You and your partner are charged with a crime. At this point, you cannot communicate with each other. In the interrogation room, you are given an offer: confess to the crime, send your partner to jail for 5 years, and walk free. If both confess, you each get 3 years. If neither confesses, both serve only 1 year. What would you do?

	B: Confess	B: Silent
A: Confess	Both 3 years	A: freeB: 5 years
A: Silent	A: 5 yearsB: free	Both 1 year

The most optimal resolution is for both parties to stay silent—this results in a combined total of only 2 years in prison. However, since neither can trust the other, both often end up confessing, leading to a worse total outcome of 6 years combined. The fundamental issue—lack of trust—leads to a suboptimal result. Trust is risky, but trust yields the best outcome.

Game theory applies to nearly every field, including relationships. Relationships often operate as a push-and-pull: If they do this, I'll do that. This hesitation and lack of trust lead to suboptimal relationships.

I used to find it difficult to form close, genuine relationships. Moving frequently meant I never had enough time. Just as I started getting close to someone, I would move away. Yet, over the past few years, I've formed lasting relationships within just days or weeks. At each summer program, I bonded deeply with 1-3 people—friends who still call me years later. How? The short time frame eliminated risk. Because I knew I would never see these people again, the worst-case scenario—awkwardness—was insignificant. With the risk minimized, I had the confidence to speak my mind, act freely, and share my story. The result? Some of the closest friends I've met.

What created those strong bonds? Trust—the trust that the other person would listen, not judge. To establish trust, there must be a test—something at stake. In most cases, that test is vulnerability. Showing vulnerability and having it empathized with or reciprocated builds trust.

At summer camps, I became vulnerable. I shared my struggles, insecurities, and fears, and in return, others did the same. This mutual exchange of trust built real connections.

However, in long-term environments like school or work, the risk of vulnerability feels much greater. Rumors and reputations can last for years. Because of this, relationships form cautiously—small steps, a slow back-and-forth dance of push-and-pull.

What if we could remove the risk of trust? What if meaningful relationships could form quickly, even in long-term settings?

The Win-Null Game: A Risk-Free Strategy

Before continuing, I want to provide a disclaimer. There is a time and place for everything. Vulnerability does not constitute of trauma dumping onto a stranger. It means sharing when basic rapport has been established and when vulnerability is appropriate. What "basic rapport" or "appropriate" means will differ for everyone. The goal of this essay is to provide the means for people to take the leap of faith and become vulnerable when the moment is right.

The Win-Null Game is a game theory solution that requires no trust, carries no risk, and offers only potential gain. The best-case scenario is the formation of a deep relationship; the worst-case scenario is nothing changing. This model does not require trust—only absolute confidence in oneself.

Absolute confidence means fully understanding, acknowledging, and appreciating oneself. In this state, external judgment is irrelevant, eliminating the fear of risk.

Applied to social interactions, the Win-Null Game optimizes relationship formation. The absolutely confident person initiates vulnerability without needing to trust the other party's response. Since their confidence makes them indifferent to ridicule or rejection, trust is unnecessary. They don't need to trust that the other party will reciprocate. The game plays out in one of two ways:

a) You open up about your story → they mock you/don't reciprocate → Null (nothing changes).

b) You open up about your story → they empathize and reciprocate → Win (new deep relationship).

The worst-case scenario? No change. You start at a surface-level relationship and end at surface level. The best-case scenario? A meaningful relationship.

Because the absolutely confident person does not care about the response, there is no real risk. They are unaffected by potential ridicule, gossip, or rejection. The cost of vulnerability becomes zero.

Admittedly, "absolute confidence" is a hypothetical state that is difficult to fully achieve. As such, a true "Win-Null" situation cannot be created. However, risk can be reduced in proportion to one's confidence and their nearing of "absolute confidence."

Conclusion

Relationships built on trust and vulnerability often take time. But absolute confidence can bypass this slow push-and-pull, allowing deeper connections to form faster. If you knew vulnerability carried no real risk, wouldn't you take the leap?

We are Ivan Ilyich ... and We Will Die Unfulfilled

2025-03-26T00:00:00Z

"This is excellent" - John Maxwell

We are blind fools on a treasure hunt, unaware that we have blinded ourselves. Each of us, convinced that we know the path to the treasure, charge forward in search of something we cannot see. Yet, as the journey unfolds, we find ourselves lost and helpless. Rather than mustering the courage to remove our blindfolds, we drop to our knees and crawl, tracing the footsteps of those before us. We crawl and crawl, mustering every ounce of our strength, only to find ourselves exactly where we started—except now we are exhausted and nearing death.

The Death of Ivan Ilyich tells the story of such a fool—except he is not just any fool but a socially respected magistrate facing death. Struck by a sudden illness, he finds his career cut short—much to the dismay, or perhaps excitement, of his family and friends. Ilyich lived his entire life in pursuit of—and attaining—success. Prestigious universities, esteemed social circles, lucrative judicial positions, a wife of high social standing—his life was the picture of success in Russian society. Yet, upon his death, his so-called friends quietly rejoice at his misfortune, scheming to take his position and feeling relief that they themselves have been spared. His wife, rather than mourning, busies herself with maximizing the financial gain from her husband's death. Such was the end of Ivan Ilyich—a man deemed successful by the standards of society.

Only on his deathbed does he dare to remove his blindfold: "'Can it be that I have not lived as one ought?' suddenly came into his head. 'But how not so, when I've done everything as it should be done?'" Ivan had lived exactly as society dictated, only to find himself left with nothing but regret and the realization that he had never truly lived at all.

Within fifty pages, Tolstoy exposes the duality of human existence—biological and symbolic—and the consequences of this contradiction. Biologically, we are confined to mortality; death is inevitable. Yet symbolically, we strive to create meaning and value, seeking immortality through legacy, achievement, and recognition. This paradox instills in us an existential anxiety: how do we reconcile our finite existence with our infinite desire for meaning? Given this tension, humans have two choices: to explore and embrace the imminence of death or to drown in man-made illusions that distract us from it.

The terror of death, when left unchecked, can paralyze us into nihilism and despair. But because confronting death directly threatens our symbolic longing for immortality, most of us choose instead to submit to societal illusions. These illusions numb our need for meaning. By attaching ourselves to cultural ideals, norms, and values, we shield ourselves from the burden of individual insignificance. Meaning is easily found when one models oneself after those who came before. A well-trodden path—one that demands conformity, erases individuality, and promises the comfort of belonging—offers an easy escape from the terror of self-reflection.

Fulfilling his role as a cog in the machine of society, Ivan numbs himself to the awareness of death. Even as his symptoms worsen, rather than cherishing his remaining time with family, he buries himself in work. He fears the inevitable, so he tranquilizes himself with the mundane. If he loses himself in routine, he will have no time to think about death or question the life he has lived. In conformity, there is comfort; in introspection, there is inquietude.

When Ivan becomes too ill to work, doctors give him opiates to dull the physical pain. Yet long before this, society had already drugged him with a more potent opiate: pre-defined social roles designed to suppress the psychological pain of his mortality. Just as religion is often called "the opiate of the masses"—providing hope for eternal life, a moral structure, and a purpose—culture, too, serves as an opiate, offering a script to follow and the illusion of meaning.

The search for meaning is universal. We are not born blind; rather, we choose to put on the blindfold when introspection and reality become too difficult to face. And this blindness is not merely a passive state—it is actively reinforced by a society that fears the truth. Adults, long conditioned by these illusions, cling to them not just for themselves but for future generations. To admit the truth—that their lives have been lived under false pretenses—would be unbearable. And so, the blindfold is passed down, not by force, but by fear.

Thus, society becomes the collective manifestation of humanity's search for meaning—a highway to 'heaven' that promises direction but discourages detours.

Many claim to have asked themselves, What is the meaning of life? But too often, the question is abandoned as quickly as it is raised, with society offering prepackaged answers: "To enjoy myself," "To help others," "To glorify God," or even, "Who cares?" Likewise, few genuinely accept the inevitability of death—at least, not beyond a passing thought. To sit with the knowledge of one's mortality, to truly absorb it, is deeply unsettling. And so, most avoid it, instead slipping into the comfort of routine, following the path set before them without question.

I am not condemning the nuclear family, religion, or hedonistic lifestyles. If these are the conclusions one arrives at through genuine introspection, then I have no right to judge them. However, for many, these are not choices but mandates—prepackaged blueprints deemed the "right" way to live.

Some never question the blueprint, while others break free only to find themselves staring into the abyss of nihilism—a stage where all meaning seems unattainable. Yet nihilism is not an endpoint; it is a necessary phase of growth. True meaning cannot be inherited from another's blueprint, but neither can it be created without first facing the void. The only way forward is through. And perhaps unrestrained creative expression is the path. To create without constraint, without seeking external validation, is to carve meaning from the void. I write not to find answers but to engage with the questions—to explore my own fears and desires. Art is not the destination; it is the journey, the tool that forces us to confront what we cannot easily define. Even as I write this essay, I wonder if I too have numbed myself with illusions of meaning.

"He sought his former accustomed fear of death and did not find it. 'Where is it? What death?' There was no fear because there was no death. In place of death there was light."

Sooner or later, we will all be forced to confront the lives we have lived. The only question is whether we will remove the blindfold ourselves or wait for death to rip it away.

A Good Day

2025-02-15T00:00:00Z

"What if today was your last day?"

The notification glowed softly in the dark room. The man stared at his phone, at the daily reflection he'd ignored for months. Today, it felt different. Today, it felt like a lifetime's reflection.

4:55.

Five minutes before his alarm, as always. "The early bird gets the worm" – a motto inherited from his father, justifying these ungodly 5 am awakenings.

"Thank you Lord for the comfort of my bed, safety of my home, and breath in my lungs." The prayer felt different today, each word savored like the last bite of a favorite meal.

In the corner, his backpack slouched against the wall, a faithful companion through years of classes. He'd never have to go to class again. The thought brought an unexpected smile – not of relief, but of fondness.

The kettle had finished its morning song. Grinding beans from Ethiopia, he hummed the Moonlight Sonata, fingers moving in muscle memory along invisible violin strings. Quitting violin was his greatest regret, but the music never really left him.

Sssst. Steam rose from the pour-over, dancing in the pre-dawn light. His wooden mug – a birthday gift from his mother, worn smooth by countless mornings – fit his hand like an old friend's embrace. Some mornings he swore he could feel her love in its warmth.

Morning light painted his walls gold as he cracked open 'The Fall'. The book's spine, creased and familiar, opened to his favorite passages. What was it about today that made everything feel like a gentle goodbye?

Whatever came next, he wouldn't end up like Jean-Baptiste Clamence. Camus' character, desperately seeking acceptance until his last breath, seemed especially tragic today. There was peace in acceptance, wasn't there?

The church bells sang seven. His Saturday coat waited patiently by the door, its black sleeves faded to brown, buttons dulled by time. Like him, it had stories to tell.

The morning air bit his cheeks as he walked to the shelter. Winter was always generous with its lessons about warmth.

7:17.

"It's cold today isn't it?"

"Here, some warm soup to warm you up."

"Of course, just doing what I can."

Handing out the last portion, he grabbed his bag, ready to leave.

"Umm excuse me sir!"

Left, right, befuddled, he turned his head, searching for the voice.

"Umm sir?"

Standing behind the counter, her face half-hidden by a beanie two sizes too large, was a little girl. Her eyes held that peculiar hope only children seem capable of.

"Do you have any soup left?" she asked, her breath visible in the cold air. Somehow, she reminded him of himself at that age – too proud to admit hunger, too young to hide it.

Eyeing the soup he saved for himself, he smiled: "Why of course, I saved this just for you."

(Lie)

Walking back home, a message lit up his phone: "Lunch at the cafe?"

Grinning, he turned around.

10:48.

He was a little too early, as always. Fidgeting with his phone, he scrolled through his contacts. "Her." He laughed softly. He'd meant to delete her contact months ago, but compromised by setting her name as just "Her." Some memories refuse to be erased.

"Wonder how she's doing."

"Hey, it's been a while."

"... yeah it has been."

"How you doing? Classes going well?"

"I graduated last year, remember?"

Right. She was always smart, planning to graduate early. Some things never changed.

"We never really got to talk. But I wanted to say thanks ... for all the memories."

"Are you ok?"

Right. She always had sharp senses. The way she could read between his lines – that hadn't changed either.

"What could possibly be wrong? I just wanted to check how you were doing."

(Lie)

"Ah, gotta go now. My friend's here." Beep.

(Lie)

11:01.

Still time left.

Smiling from his call, he thought "If there's one thing I'll miss, it'll be talking with her."

(Truth)

"Hey! Did you wait long?"

"No no, I just got here."

(Lie)

"You find anyone yet? You should think about seeing someone. Oh wait, you're still stuck on her right?"

"Stop, you know that's not it. I've just been too busy to meet anyone."

His coffee arrived, the aroma bringing him back to this morning's ritual. Funny how a single day could feel like a lifetime.

1:14. "Yeah I'll see you at class."

(Lie)

14:05.

A pile of blank cards sat before him, each one a chance to say what he never could. Everyone he knew deserved one last word.

"Guess I'll write them a letter."

"Dear ..."

The quiet scratch of his pen filled the room. With each letter, he slipped in a polaroid – frozen moments of shared laughter, of ordinary days that now felt extraordinary.

"Will they remember how I smile?"

Some letters were easy – thank yous to professors who shaped his mind, apologies to friends he'd cancelled on too often. Others took more courage. To his parents, who never understood why he studied philosophy instead of medicine, but loved him anyway. To his little sister, who still called him her hero.

16:12.

The last letter. "Hey Professor! Sorry for sleeping in your lecture the other day ... you know physics isn't my thing. I wanted to say that I'll be missing class Monday. And the rest of the semester. Thanks for everything!"

19:48.

Snow fell like memories – soft, pure, fleeting. Couples walked hand in hand, their breath mingling in the cold air. Christmas lights turned snowflakes into falling stars.

"I'll miss walking these streets."

The grinning butcher who always saved him the best cuts, the kid who never failed to wave, the birds that sang him to class each morning, the trees that danced just for him – how strange that the most ordinary things now felt like miracles.

At home, he chose his finest fountain pen. The paper welcomed its touch like an old friend.

If you're reading this, congratulations! You meant something to me... good or bad. All jokes aside, I'm really glad you're reading this. Really glad.

I always knew this day would come, as it does for all of us, just not so fast. Some questions don't need answers, and some answers don't need questions. The miracle was never in the time we're given, but in what we choose to see in it.

I still have a lot I want to do. Travel the world, find another love, eat all the delicacies, read all the books. But maybe the beauty of life isn't in completing every dream, but in having dreams at all.

Thank you for walking through my last day with me. Thank you for seeing the world through my eyes, even if just once. Every coffee sip, every smile, every lie, every truth – they were all part of a life well-lived.

Today was my last day. And you know what? It was a good day.

(Truth)

Journal Entry
12/32/27

Questbridge Breakdown: From Prep Scholar to Princeton Match

2025-02-04T00:00:00Z

Introduction

"Congratulations! You've been matched with Princeton University through the QuestBridge National College Match!"

These words changed my life forever. As I stared at my screen, tears welling up in my eyes, I couldn't believe that my dream of attending a top university without burdening my family financially had become a reality. As both a QuestBridge Prep-Scholar and Match recipient to Princeton, I've experienced firsthand the transformative power of this program. Now, I want to share my journey and insights to help future QuestBridge scholars navigate their own paths to success.

About QuestBridge

QuestBridge isn't just another scholarship program – it's a national non-profit organization that's revolutionizing how low-income, high-achieving students access higher education. Their mission emphasizes this commitment: "QuestBridge connects high-achieving students from low-income backgrounds with a thriving community and transformative educational, career, and life opportunities that help propel them to lives of fulfillment, meaning, and purpose."

QuestBridge partners with 55 of the nation's top colleges, including all eight Ivy League schools. These partnerships open doors that might otherwise seem out of reach for many students.

But what does this mean in practice? Let's look at the numbers:

Most finalists come from families earning less than $65,000 annually
Academically, finalists typically rank in the top 5-10% of their class
The middle 50% of finalists score between 1280-1470 on the SAT and/or 27-33 on the ACT

Who should apply? While QuestBridge primarily serves low-income students (generally those from families earning less than $65,000 annually with minimal assets) and first-generation college students, there's no strict cutoff. The program looks at each applicant's unique circumstances holistically. So even if you don't meet these soft requirements, you can still apply! I personally know many who matched with a top college and didn't fall within these averages.

QuestBridge Prep-Scholars Program

Why It Matters

Remember that saying about early birds catching worms? The QuestBridge Prep-Scholars Program is your early bird ticket to success. As a summer program for high school juniors, it offers incredible opportunities for summer programs, research, and scholarships. Not only does QuestBridge partner with top universities like Yale and UPenn to offer summer programs, they also offer college-prep seminars and meetings to help prepare for the college admissions process.

Here's a striking statistic: College Prep-Scholars are over seven times more likely than other applicants to receive full four-year scholarships through the National College Match. In 2024, 3,911 students became Prep-Scholars – that's roughly a 25% acceptance rate.

My Prep Scholar Journey

Being selected as a Prep-Scholar opened doors I never imagined possible. I was accepted into UPenn's prestigious M&TSI program (with its competitive 3% acceptance rate) and received the Quest for Excellence award (given to just one student per state, along with $1,000). But perhaps most valuable was how the program helped me develop my personal essay writing skills and craft a compelling narrative for college applications. I was also able to meet fellow QuestBridge Prep-Scholars at the UChicago QuestBridge conference!

Application Process and Advice

Mark your calendars: The application opens on February 4, 2025, and closes on March 20, 2025. It's a short window, so start early! Here's my top advice:

Apply to every summer program and scholarship opportunity. Yes, it means writing a few more essays, but the potential rewards are enormous.
When writing essays, focus on growth rather than hardship. Everyone has challenges – what makes you stand out is how you've grown from them.
Put yourself in the admission officer's shoes. After reading thousands of essays, what will make yours memorable? A strong hook, clear theme, and polished execution are key.

National College Match

The Opportunity

The National College Match is QuestBridge's flagship program, offering a full ride to a four-year university. But it's more than just financial support. The program allows you to apply early to up to 15 schools (many of which typically restrict early applications through their standard processes), with an application specifically designed for first-generation, low-income students.

In 2024, 7,288 students became finalists (about a 30% acceptance rate), and 2,627 of those finalists (roughly 35%) matched with partner colleges. These numbers show it's competitive but absolutely achievable with preparation and dedication.

QB vs Common App

Many people considering QuestBridge face this dilemma: QuestBridge or Common App? For the College Prep-Scholars program, whether or not you're going to use the Common App, apply because the summer programs and scholarships are valuable. For college applications, there's many factors to consider and I'll break them down here.

Cost
Probably the biggest factor in preparing for college--cost. QuestBridge offers a full-ride to all the partner colleges; however, some may require work-study. Some of these colleges, especially the smaller ones, may not offer such generous aid when admitted through the Common App or other platforms. If cost is a huge factor, I would recommend QuestBridge over the Common App.

Though it should be noted most T10 and Ivy colleges offer full-ride or very generous financial aid to low-income students. For example, my financial aid would have been the same at Princeton regardless of if I applied through QuestBridge or the Common App. If the top colleges (T10/HYPSM) are your goal, there isn't much of a difference in financial aid.

Application
The biggest difference between QuestBridge and the Common App is the application itself. Because the QuestBridge application is meant for low-income students, there are more essays tailored towards the needs/struggles/experiences of first-gen, low-income (FGLI) students. With two short answer (200 words), seven really short answer (35 words), a personal essay (800 words), and an optional video, the QuestBridge application has more writing portions. This can either be a positive or negative: given the tight deadlines, the length of the application can feel tedious to some. However, some may also find that it gives them a chance to share their full story and all the aspects about them. Personally, as I love writing, I found that I was able to give a wholistic view of myself as an applicant through the extensive essays.

QuestBridge also limits ECs to 5 (compared to Common App's 10) which may hurt some if you're heavy on ECs. However, you can list them in the "Additional Info" section so it's not a dealbreaker.

Deadlines
As mentioned earlier, the deadlines are QUICK. The general application is due late September (compared to Nov. 1 for most ED/EA) and you only have two weeks to prepare the supplementals (after finalist notification). If you know you're not great at time management or have other commitments, QuestBridge's deadlines may prove too fast for you.

Admission Officers
Some schools (I personally asked AOs) have different admission officer committees for QuestBridge applicants, meaning that you're mostly competing with fellow QuestBridge scholars. This may or may not make the competition slightly easier, but do note some/most schools don't have separate committees.

However, because of the earlier deadlines, it is true that admission officers for all schools (save for UChicago w/their early ED) look at QuestBridge applications first. This could offer a small primacy bias effect in your admissions, but it won't have a great impact.

There's also a lot of discussion online about how QuestBridge partners match and select students (biased toward racial minorities, need to make poverty-level income, etc.). Most of it isn't based on real evidence and only anecdotal/rage-bait so don't let that sway your decision to use QuestBridge.

Ranking
Unique feature of QuestBridge: ranking schools! With QuestBridge, you can rank up to 15 schools. Essentially, you can ED to 15 schools instead of being restricted to one. This doesn't matter if the schools you're applying to have unrestricted early action or won't be doing ED, but it will help most apply early to more schools. For example, you couldn't apply to Harvard REA and Princeton REA; but with QuestBridge, you essentially can.

Understandably, some people don't like the binding nature of the rankings (meaning you must go the school if matched) and choose not to rank. In this case, they either do Common App early or QuestBridge regular decision. Even if you don't like the binding aspect of ranking, I would still consider QuestBridge for the aforementioned reasons.

Overall, I chose QuestBridge mainly because of the amount of essays and ranking, but there are valid reasons for/against QuestBridge.

My Match Experience

I ranked six schools in this order: Princeton, Stanford, MIT, Yale, Columbia, and UPenn. I was lucky enough to match with Princeton University. Not only would I attend one of the world's most prestigious universities, but I would do so without financial burden – Princeton would actually pay me to attend. Beyond the financial aspects, being part of the QuestBridge network has connected me with an incredible community of scholars who share similar backgrounds and aspirations.

Timeline and Process

Here's an exampe timeline from 2024:

Application opens: July 30 (earlier for Prep-Scholars)
Application due: September 26
Ranking form due: October 10
Finalist notification: October 16
Match requirements due: November 1
Match day: December 2
Regular decision form due: December 9 (for unmatched finalists)

Yes, the turnaround time for the application and supplementals are FAST. Because the application deadline is earlier than the ED/EA deadline of Nov. 1 for most other colleges, it's important to prepare heavily over summer.

Strategic Advice

Drawing from my experience, here are my top tips for success:

Start your essays early, especially supplementals (summer-fall is ideal)
Expect your later essays to be stronger than your first attempts – make time to go back and refine early drafts
Research each college's financial aid package thoroughly – they can differ significantly
Only rank colleges you'd be genuinely happy to attend – remember, matching is binding
Don't let stress paralyze you – focus on doing what you can with the time you have

Remember my earlier essay advice? It applies here too: highlight genuine passion and growth, focus on how you've overcome challenges rather than the challenges themselves, and make your essays stand out with strong hooks and themes.

Conclusion

QuestBridge transformed my educational journey, opening doors I once thought were firmly closed. From the valuable preparation as a Prep-Scholar to the life-changing match with Princeton, each step of this process has reinforced my belief in the power of programs that support high-achieving, low-income students.

If you're considering applying to QuestBridge, take that first step. The application process may seem daunting, but remember: every QuestBridge Scholar, including me, started exactly where you are now. Your background isn't a limitation – it's part of what makes you unique and valuable to these top institutions.

Don't hesitate to reach out if you have questions about the process. The QuestBridge community is strong because we support each other. Your dream of attending a top college without financial burden isn't just possible – with QuestBridge, it's within reach.

Are you ready to start your QuestBridge journey?

The Idiot

2025-01-30T00:00:00Z

I want to talk about everything with
At least one person as I
Talk about things with
myself.

Longing for a voice, to
Call my own. Not an echo of thoughts, a
Figment of my sought. Cursed by the gods with
Wisdom of God. Never to spend an empty night
But alone in plight. Go from me now,
I cast thee away. Forever go
Thoughts, free me from
myself.

I will never love
'Til the day she comes
Alive. Waken from stone,
breathe life my goddess, save me from
myself.

Finding God in Every Field

2025-01-26T00:00:00Z

Disclaimer: I am not a trained theologian, physicist, literary critic, psychologist, or computer scientist. I'm just a curious high school student who has much to learn. If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to reach out to me at ikblog301@gmail.com. You can find the sermon in question here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHE1jXlTzqU.

Introduction
Interdisciplinary thinking is something I highly value and advocate for. Recently, I was listening to Dr. Steve's sermon when I found myself analyzing and using theories/concepts from other fields in the sciences and arts to understand his sermon (which I found very complicated though great). I found it fascinating that these analogous concepts could help me process the scripture which led to me think: If God is the sole creator of all things, then do the sciences and arts, which are an attempt at seeking truth, not point to the only Truth--God? In this essay I hope to draw connection between the scripture and physics, literature, psychology, and machine learning/natural language processing to explore how the Sciences and Arts can help in understanding the Word.

Physics
Einstein's theory of relativity changed our way of seeing the world. We went from Euclidian space to Minkowski space--3D to 4D. His theory of relativity revolutionized how and what we perceive: being able to see and work with black holes, stellar bodies, etc. Before Einstein, we could only explain the world with our understanding of Newton's laws of gravity, failing to grasp how the world truly (as far as we know) worked. Likewise, Heaven is another dimension in our reality, we just can't perceive it with our current understanding. However, our lack of understanding does not equate a lack of existence--spacetime did exist before Einstein, we just weren't privy to it.

Literature
Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse-Five has the Tralfamadorians, fictional creatures that kidnap the main character, Billy. Unlike humans, they perceive the world in 4 dimensions, simultaneously observing all points in the space-time continuum (three dimensions of space x,y,z and time). Due to this ability, death means nothing to them, and their typical response to hearing about death is "so it goes." Because they can see another realm that humans don't, their response to life and death is different as well. I'm not advocating for a fatalistic worldview like the Tralfamadorians, but what if our ability to perceive Heaven on Earth could change our worldview too? Instead of "This situation is so hard, when can I go to Heaven and rest with God?" it would be, "God is testing me with these trials and he is walking with me through this valley."

Psychology
Linguistic influence in psychology is the idea that language impacts how people think, perceive the world, and behave. For example, a tribe that doesn't have the words to describe numbers greater than 2 ("one-two-many" system) would have trouble with matching or counting tasks that involved numbers beyond 2 (https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15319490/). Schemas are defined as mental frameworks that help people interpret and organize information, and they influence what we notice and how we interpret information. Without a schema or the language to describe abstract concepts like the Heavenly realm, perhaps we are unable to perceive it. Only by the Spirit are we introduced and able to see the workings of God in our reality. Just as expanding our language expands our ability to think, expanding our understanding of God may help us see God in our lives.

Machine Learning/Natural Language Processing
In machine learning and natural language processing, "syntax" refers to the grammatical structure of a sentence, focusing on the arrangement of words and how they relate to each other according to grammatical rules, while "semantics" focuses on the meaning of words and phrases within a sentence, considering context and how words combine to convey meaning. Perhaps this could be used to explain why Nicodemus "the teacher of Israel" was unable to understand Jesus: "Jesus answered him, 'Are you the teacher of Israel and yet you do not understand these things?'" (John 3:10). Nicodemus knew the law better than anyone, he could recite it backwards, yet he didn't understand it. He knew the syntax--what it said, but he didn't know the semantics--what it meant. And maybe we are susceptible to this too, we read the bible and go to church, but don't take the time to actually understand what it means. Without understanding, is our knowledge not just "dead knowledge"?

Spiritual
"No one can enter the kingdom of God and experience this reality of Heaven breaking into Earth without experiencing a new birth through the Holy Spirit" -Dr. Steve. Indeed Heaven is around us: "And Elisha prayed, 'Open his eyes, Lord, so that he may see.' Then the Lord opened the servant's eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha" (2 King 6:17). However, we are unable to perceive it on our own. It is only through the work of the Holy Spirit that "we become spiritually alive to the heavenly realities here on Earth." Jesus emphasizes this rebirth in John 3:3: "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God."

This truth extends to believers through Paul's teaching: "Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God?" (1 Corinthians 6:19). Dr. Steve explains, "That is the meaning of the temple--where Heaven and Earth meet." Our body is a temple, where Heaven and Earth meet, and the Spirit that gives rebirth is within us. This means Heaven and Earth meet not in a distant place, but in our bodies, in our lives, in our reality. God is not in a distant realm waiting to meet us, but he is with us now.

Application
This understanding transforms our daily walk with God. Many struggle with growing from being a "Sunday Christian" to an "Everyday Christian," questioning how to see, worship, and glorify Him in everyday life. I too have been working through this and the Psalms provide guidance: "I will praise the Lord as long as I live; I will sing praises to my God while I have my being" (Psalm 146:2). I've adopted the concept of "breathing praise"--praising the Lord as naturally and vitally as we breathe. However, the challenge remains: how do we "breathe praise" when we still fall back into old sins, forget about God in our everyday lives, and neglect Him until Sunday? The answer lies in perceiving Heaven as a reality in our lives. Jesus taught us the Lord's Prayer: "Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven" (Matthew 6:10). This prayer reflects the fundamental truth that "the kingdom of God is the in-breaking of the heavenly realm (God's rule) into the kingdoms of this world," making our daily lives the very place where Heaven and Earth intersect. We don't have to wait until Sunday or a retreat to encounter God, Heaven is around us.

Conclusion
The Sciences and Art are often portrayed as juxtaposing truths to the Gospel, but I believe they can be used to help understand the Word. After all, was the universe and the Gospel not created by the same God? I find it easier to understand concepts by drawing on other fields with analogies, and I hope you found this useful or at least interesting. I want to leave you with this final thought: Perhaps by seeing Heaven in our plane of existence, we can see God in the mundane.

You Approached Me With Hey

2025-01-17T00:00:00Z

Why do I still
long for your touch

Hearing your voice,
Now an echo of past

Waiting your text,
One never to come

Have I not cried,
Stifled by plight

Have you not hurt,
Me long enough

I long to forget,
Yet brand your name

Til the day
You say "hey"

Divine Dust

2025-01-14T00:00:00Z

Remnants of gods once divine,
Eternal rest of the ephermal.

Immortalized in death,
Tales of once was.

Bless the creatures breathed,
O Beings of the past.

Gaze upon the lonely,
Lost from the light.

Shining your bright,
Dim the night sky.

Lucid Deceptions

2025-01-01T00:00:00Z

The Beauty of heavens—where does she lie?

Temptingly red lips, a snare waiting in lie.

Caressed between her silky beds, with her I lie.

Passing dream forgotten in my wake—she was a lie.

Though she lies within my lie, my aching heart is but a lie.

Could I still lie within her thigh, or is she a lie haunting my sigh?

Prompt Engineering Guide

2024-11-22T00:00:00Z

Introduction

Have you ever felt like you're playing a game of charades with AI? You know exactly what you want, but somehow the AI keeps giving you responses that miss the mark. Maybe you've asked ChatGPT to help with your resume, only to get a generic template that looks nothing like what you imagined. Or perhaps you've tried using Claude to analyze a document, but the response was too verbose or completely off-topic.

You're not alone! The secret to getting better results from AI isn't about finding the "best" AI model - it's about learning how to communicate with them effectively. This is where prompt engineering comes in.

Think of prompt engineering as learning to speak "AI language." Just like how you might phrase things differently when talking to a toddler versus a colleague, the way you structure your requests to AI can dramatically impact the quality of responses you get. And the best part? You don't need to be a tech expert or know how to code to master this skill.

In this guide, I'll share four simple but powerful techniques that will help you get better results from any AI model you use. Whether you're using AI for work, study, or personal projects, these strategies will help you turn vague, unhelpful responses into precise, useful outputs that actually match what you're looking for.

1. Be Clear and Direct

The AI can't read your mind or know anything you don't tell it. Be clear, specific, and provide context for better results. The more the AI knows about the task at hand, the better it can assit you.

What You Should Include:

Context: What is the task for and who is it meant for
Workflow: Explain where this task fits in your bigger project
End Goal: Define what success looks like
Specific Steps: Break down what you want the AI to do

Here's an example of a vague prompt versus a clear one:

Vague: "Help me with my financial analysis."

Clear: "Your task is to analyze a financial statement for my presentation on the future of the semiconductor industry. The audience will be the managers and board of my IB firm. Your response is will be used to collect/organize data on different companies so that I can get a understanding of the industry. A successful analysis should have these components:

Company name
PE ratio
YoY Revenue Growth

Important notes: Output only the analysis and skip all the preamble.

Here are the steps you should take:

analyze the financial statement
fill out the company name, pe ratio, and YoY revenue growth
go back and find any important notes
report back to me"

See the difference? The second prompt gives the AI everything it needs to provide a useful response.

2. Use XML Tags

Think of XML tags as organizing boxes - they help keep different parts of your conversation with AI neat and tidy. While it sounds technical, it's actually quite simple!

Why Use Tags?

Separates different parts of your prompt clearly
Reduces confusion
Makes it easier to modify specific parts
Helps AI organize its response

Example:

<essay>
[Your essay goes here]
</essay>

<feedback>
[Feedback you received goes here]
</feedback>

Analyze the essay and feedback above, focusing on areas of improvement.

3. Use Examples (Multishot Prompting)

Like humans, AI can understand and learn better with examples. If you want the AI to format something in a specific way, give it an example to follow. This technique is called "multishot prompting," but think of it as "learning by example."

Why Use Examples?

Reduces misunderstandings
Ensures consistent formatting
Helps AI understand complex requirements
Perfect for structured outputs

For instance, if you're asking AI to analyze essays, you might provide an example analysis first:

Here's how I want you to analyze essays:

<example>
Theme:
- Pros: Strong personal growth narrative
- Cons: Could go deeper into motivations

Style:
- Pros: Vivid imagery in key scenes
- Cons: Some metaphors feel forced
</example>

Now analyze my essay using this format...

4. Let It Think (Chain of Thought)

Have you ever rushed to answer a question, only to realize you made a silly mistake? AI can do the same thing! Sometimes, it's better to let the AI think through problems step by step.

This approach, called Chain of Thought (CoT), is particularly useful for:

Math problems
Logic puzzles
Complex analysis
Multi-step tasks

Here's how to do it:

Ask the AI to think step by step
Request it to show its work
Look for any gaps in its reasoning

Example:
"Before giving investment advice, I want you to think step by step. Think through:

Current market conditions
Historical trends
Risk factors
Alternative options

Show your thinking process in < thinking> tags, then give your recommendation."

Putting It All Together

The best part about these techniques is that you can mix and match them based on your needs. Here's a prompt that combines all four:

You're a college admissions counselor. I need help analyzing an application essay.

<example>
Analysis should include:
- Theme strength (1-10)
- Writing style notes
- Improvement suggestions
</example>

<essay>
[Essay content here]
</essay>

Think through these steps:
1. First impression
2. Technical analysis
3. Content analysis
4. Final recommendations

Provide your analysis using the format from my example.

Conclusion

Prompt engineering isn't about memorizing complex rules or learning to code - it's about clear communication. By being specific, providing examples, letting AI think step-by-step, and organizing your prompts with tags, you can get dramatically better results from any AI tool.

Remember, the key is to be clear about what you want and give the AI the context it needs to help you. With these techniques in your toolkit, you're well on your way to becoming an AI communication pro!

Gnawing Hunger

2024-10-31T00:00:00Z

Do you know,
the gnawing hunger.

The hunger that wills,
empty souls to kill.

Have you felt,
the aching pain.

The pain that haunts,
dreaming of wants.

Decoding Neural Networks: Structure and Function

2024-10-04T00:00:00Z

Introduction

From face recognition to self-driving cars, and even ChatGPT, neural networks are powering the technologies that are reshaping our world. These intricate systems, inspired by the human brain, form the backbone of many artificial intelligence applications we interact with daily.

In this first part of our two-part series on neural networks, we'll explore their structure and understand how they work. Whether you're a curious beginner or a tech enthusiast looking to deepen your understanding, this guide will provide you with a solid foundation in neural networks.

By the end of this post, you'll understand:

The basic structure of neural networks
How information flows through these networks to produce results
How neural networks learn and adapt to solve complex problems

In our next post, we'll dive into the fascinating mathematics that make neural networks tick. But for now, let's start by unraveling the architecture of these powerful systems.

Structure of Neural Networks

Network Architecture
Neural networks are a system of connected neurons that process and transmit information to solve complex problems. Just as the human brain has billions of neurons firing and triggering one another to help us think, neural networks have their own system of neurons working together.

These neurons are organized into layers, forming the network's architecture. This structure gives the network more flexibility: layers can be arranged in various ways depending on the neural network's task. For instance, a neural network trained to recognize faces will have a different architecture from one designed to generate images. This adaptability is what makes neural networks so versatile and powerful across a wide range of applications.

Neurons
Neurons, also called nodes, are the fundamental building blocks of a neural network. You can think of each neuron as a "cell" that holds a number, typically between 0 and 1. This number is called the activation value, and it indicates how strongly the neuron is firing in response to input.

Let's use an image recognition network as an example. If we input an image of an apple, the neuron associated with "apple" should have a high activation value (close to 1), indicating a strong "match". Conversely, a neuron associated with "banana" should have a low activation value (close to 0).

![[Pasted image 20241004095141.png]]
(Photo from GeeksforGeeks)

Layers
Within a neural network, neurons are organized into layers. Picture these layers as columns of neurons stacked on top of each other. There are three main types of layers:

Input Layer: This is where the network receives its initial data. In our image recognition example, this layer would process the raw pixel values of the apple image.
Hidden Layers: These are the intermediate layers between the input and output. They're called "hidden" because they're not directly exposed to the input or output. This is where most of the complex processing occurs, like identifying edges, shapes, and more complex features of the image.
Output Layer: This final layer produces the network's answer or prediction. In our example, it might have neurons representing different types of fruit, with the "apple" neuron having the highest activation.

As data flows through the network, neurons in each layer activate to varying degrees based on the input they receive. This cascade of activations continues from the input layer through the hidden layers until it reaches the output layer. The neuron with the highest activation in the output layer represents the network's final prediction.

Connections
Now that we understand neurons and layers, let's explore how they're connected. Imagine lines connecting every neuron in one layer to every neuron in the next layer. These connections are called weights, and they play a crucial role in how information flows through the network.

Weights determine the strength and importance of connections between neurons. A higher weight means a stronger connection, so the activation of one neuron will have a bigger impact on the neuron it's connected to in the next layer. Conversely, a lower weight indicates a weaker connection and less influence.

While weights determine the strength of connections between neurons, each neuron also has another important parameter: the bias. The bias can be thought of as the neuron's threshold for activation or its baseline tendency to fire regardless of inputs. Here's why bias is crucial:

Shifting the activation function: Bias allows the neuron to shift its activation function left or right along the input axis. This shift enables the neuron to activate (or not activate) at the appropriate input levels for the task at hand.
Enhancing flexibility: By allowing greater modifications to the activation function, bias provides an additional degree of freedom for the neuron to adjust its response. This flexibility is key during the learning process, allowing for more precise and nuanced adjustments.
Enabling complex representations: With bias, neurons can learn and represent more complex decision boundaries. This allows the network as a whole to model more sophisticated relationships in the data.
Providing a baseline: Bias allows a neuron to have a non-zero output even when all inputs are zero. This can be crucial for neurons that need to be active by default or for representing features that are always present in the data.

In essence, bias acts like a fine-tuning knob for each neuron, giving the neural network the ability to fit a wider range of functions and learn more complex patterns from the data. Together with weights, biases form the learnable parameters of the network, continuously adjusted during training to minimize prediction errors.

Activation Function
We mentioned activation functions earlier, but they're important enough to warrant further explanation. These mathematical formulas determine whether and how strongly a neuron fires based on its inputs.

Activation functions introduce non-linearity into the network, allowing it to learn complex patterns. Without them, the neural network would just be a series of linear transformations, severely limiting its problem-solving abilities.

There are various types of activation functions, each with its own characteristics. Some common ones include the sigmoid function (which outputs values between 0 and 1), the ReLU (Rectified Linear Unit) function, and the tanh function.

In conclusion, the structure of a neural network - from its overall architecture down to individual neurons, layers, connections, and activation functions - works in concert to process information and make predictions. By adjusting the number of layers, the connections between neurons, and the types of activation functions used, we can create neural networks capable of tackling a wide array of complex problems.

How Neural Networks Work

Now that we understand the structure of neural networks, let's dive into how they actually work. At its core, a neural network is all about information flow and pattern learning.

Information Flow
For information to go through a neural network, it undergoes a multi-step process.

Data enters the neural network through the input layer. Each neuron within the layer represents a feature of the data inputted. For example, in an image recognition network, one neuron could focus on the top-left pixel while another could look at the bottom-right.
From there, data flows to the hidden layers. The weighted connections we discussed earlier play a crucial role here, influencing the strength of the signal as it passes from one neuron to the next.
At each neuron, an activation function determines the neuron's output (activation number). This is where the network introduces non-linearity, allowing it to learn complex patterns.
Finally, the processed information emerges from the output layer. The neuron with the highest activation will be considered the network's output. This final output is the neural network's prediction, classification, or whatever output the network was designed to produce.

Pattern Learning
But how does a neural network learn to recognize patterns? It's an iterative process of trial and error:

The neural network starts with random weights and biases.
During training, the network processes many examples or inputs.
For each input, the network's output (guess) is compared to the expected output (answer). The difference (error) between these is quantified using a loss function.
Based on this error, the weights and biases are adjusted to minimize the error. This process, known as backpropagation, uses techniques like stochastic gradient descent. Basically, we try to find the most efficient way to reduce our error by nudging the weights and biases to get the answer we want.
Through many iterations of this process, the weights and biases are tuned to accurately predict the output for a given input.

Adaptability and Generalization
Neural networks are incredibly adaptable. The combination of layers, weights, and non-linear activation functions allows them to approximate incredibly complex functions. This means they can adapt to different types of data and problems.

Moreover, neural networks can generalize - they can apply learned patterns to new, unseen data. This is crucial for real-world applications. For instance, a text recognition (OCR) neural network is able to recognize your text, even though it wasn't explicitly trained on your handwriting.

Bringing It All Together
Let's use an example to summarize how neural networks work. Imagine a neural network designed to recognize handwritten digits. When you input an image of a handwritten '7':

The pixel values of the "7" enter the network through the input layer.
As the image goes through the hidden layers, neurons activate based on patterns they've learned to recognize. For example, one neuron may fire seeing a horizontal line while another may activate seeing a slanted line.
In the output layer, the neuron corresponding with "7" activates with the highest number.
In the case the network didn't classify the image as "7", it will adjust its weights and biases to do better next time.

This process repeats for thousands or millions of examples until the network becomes proficient at recognizing digits.

Conclusion

Neural networks are the driving force behind many of the AI technologies we interact with daily. By mimicking the structure and function of the human brain, they can learn to recognize patterns, make decisions, and solve complex problems.

We've explored how neural networks are structured, with layers of interconnected neurons processing information. We've also seen how they learn through a process of trial and error, adjusting their internal parameters to improve their performance over time.

This adaptability and capacity for learning make neural networks incredibly powerful and versatile. From recognizing handwritten digits to powering sophisticated language models, neural networks are at the forefront of AI innovation.

Whether you're looking to understand the technology shaping our world or considering a career in AI and machine learning, a solid grasp of neural networks is invaluable.

but a man alone

2024-10-04T00:00:00Z

He who breathes in the still of night,
Who is he, in the absence of light.
With nobody to see, nobody to hear,
Who is he, but a man alone with his fear.

He cries to God, one who bottles his tears.
Tears they fall, but where is God
Not in his fears.

He cries to man, one who shares his bone.
Stones they hail, but where is man
Not in his fears.

Alas, alas, he cries to self.
Neither God nor man
Not in his fears.

He who weeps in the still of night,
Who is he, drowning in plight.
With nobody to see, nobody to hear,
Who is he, but a man alone in his fear.

Local LLMs: The Future of AI in Your Hands

2024-08-15T00:00:00Z

Introduction

ChatGPT -- everyone's heard of it and everyone's used it. It's become a household name that everyone recognizes, but if I asked, "Do you know what Mistral is?", most would answer with a confused look. ChatGPT, as well as most consumer AI, are run on the cloud, meaning that a server somewhere runs the AI models and relays the information back to you. An alternative approach to cloud-based models are local LLMs, a chatbot run entirely on your personal device.

In this post, we'll explore local LLMs: what they are, why they're becoming increasingly important, and how they might just revolutionize the way we interact with AI. Whether you're a tech enthusiast, a privacy advocate, or just curious about the future of AI, this guide will give you a solid understanding of local LLMs and their potential impact on our digital lives.

What Are Local LLMs?

Imagine having ChatGPT or Claude living inside your computer, rather than on a distant server. That's essentially what a local LLM is. But let's break it down a bit more:

LLM Basics: LLM stands for Large Language Model. These are sophisticated AI systems trained on vast amounts of text data, enabling them to understand and generate human-like text. They're the technology behind chatbots like ChatGPT and Claude.
The "Local" Difference: While traditional LLMs run on powerful servers in data centers, local LLMs operate entirely on your personal device. This means all the processing happens on your computer or phone, without sending data to external servers.
Size and Efficiency: Local LLMs are typically smaller and more efficient versions of their cloud-based counterparts. They're designed to run smoothly on devices with limited processing power and memory.
Offline Capability: One of the most distinctive features of local LLMs is their ability to function without an internet connection. All the necessary data and processing power is right there on your device.

In the next section, we'll explore why you might want to use these localized AI powerhouses and the advantages they offer over their cloud-based cousins.

Why Use Local LLMs?

Now that we know what local LLMs are, you might be wondering, "Why should I care?" Let's explore some compelling reasons why local LLMs are gaining traction:

Privacy is King:
Imagine having a conversation with a friend. Would you prefer to chat in the privacy of your home or shout across a crowded room? Local LLMs are like having that private conversation at home. Your data and queries never leave your device, ensuring your information stays yours. As privacy is a big concern for companies, many are moving towards running their own local LLMs.
Always Available, No Wi-Fi Required:
Picture this: you're on a long flight or in a remote cabin, and you need to draft an essay or analyze some data. With a local LLM, you have access to a powerful AI assistant, even without internet access.
Speed Demon:
Local LLMs can often provide faster responses than their cloud-based counterparts. There's no need to send data to a server and wait for a response - it's all happening right there on your device. It's the difference between asking someone standing next to you a question versus calling a friend who needs to look up the answer. However, speed can be affected by your computer's processing power and the LLM you choose to run.
Cost-Effective in the Long Run:
While setting up a local LLM might require some initial investment (in terms of hardware), it can be more cost-effective over time. You're not paying for API calls or cloud computing resources. Think of it as buying a coffee machine instead of going to a cafe every day - there's an upfront cost, but it can save money in the long run.
Customization and Control:
Local LLMs offer more flexibility for customization. You can fine-tune the model for your specific needs or even train it on your personal data if you choose. Furthermore, local LLMs have no guardrails (or you can find tweaked models), meaning they can perform tasks that cloud-based LLMs would reject.
Learning and Experimentation:
For the tech-curious, running a local LLM is an excellent way to learn about AI systems. It's a lab for AI - you can experiment, tweak, and see the results firsthand. Reading papers and watching videos about AI is great, but experimenting with it first-hand is vital for understanding AI.

These advantages make local LLMs an exciting prospect for many users. However, like any technology, they come with their own set of challenges. In the next section, we'll compare local LLMs to their cloud-based counterparts to give you a fuller picture of where each shines.

Local LLMs vs. Cloud LLMs

Now that we understand what local LLMs are and why they're useful, let's pit them against their more well-known cousins: cloud LLMs. Let's break it down:

Processing Power
- Cloud LLMs: These are the heavyweight champions. They run on powerful servers with virtually unlimited resources. Imagine having a supercomputer at your disposal.
- Local LLMs: The underdogs. They're optimized to run on your personal devices and not as powerful, but always there when you need them.
Privacy and Security
- Cloud LLMs: Your data takes a journey across the internet. It's like sending a letter – secure, but it passes through many hands.
- Local LLMs: Everything stays on your device. It's like writing in a diary that never leaves your room.
Availability and Reliability
- Cloud LLMs: They're always up-to-date but require an internet connection. It's like having a smart friend you can only call when you have phone service.
- Local LLMs: They work offline but might not always have the latest information. Think of it as a knowledgeable companion who's always by your side but might occasionally need to check their facts.
Customization and Control (open source)
- Cloud LLMs: Generally one-size-fits-all. It's like using a public library – vast resources, but you can't rearrange the shelves.
- Local LLMs: Highly customizable. Imagine having your own personal library where you decide which books to stock and how to organize them.
Cost Structure
- Cloud LLMs: Usually pay-as-you-go or subscription-based. It's like paying for a taxi – convenient, but costs can add up for frequent use.
- Local LLMs: Higher upfront cost (for hardware), but potentially cheaper in the long run. It's more like buying a bicycle – a bigger initial investment, but then it's yours to use as much as you want.
Update and Maintenance
- Cloud LLMs: Automatically updated by the provider. It's like having a car that magically upgrades itself overnight.
- Local LLMs: You're responsible for updates and maintenance. More like owning a classic car – it's yours to tinker with and improve.
Scalability
- Cloud LLMs: Easily scalable for large-scale applications. Think of it as having a rubber band that can stretch to any size you need.
- Local LLMs: Limited by your device's capabilities. It's more like having a very stretchable, but ultimately finite, rubber band.

So, which is better? Well, that depends on your needs. Cloud LLMs are great for businesses requiring immense processing power and up-to-date information. They're the go-to for large-scale applications and users who prioritize convenience.

Local LLMs, on the other hand, shine in scenarios where privacy, offline access, and customization are key. They're ideal for personal use, sensitive information processing, and situations where internet access is limited or unreliable.

In the next section, we'll dive deeper into some of the challenges and limitations of local LLMs. After all, every technology has its trade-offs, and it's important to have a full picture before diving in.

Disadvantages of Local LLMs

While local LLMs offer many benefits, they're not without their challenges. Let's take an honest look at some of the hurdles you might face:

Limited Processing Power:
Your device isn't a supercomputer. Local LLMs might struggle with extremely complex tasks or generating very long responses. The size/type of models you can run and their speed will be limited by your device's capabilities. If you don't have a powerful GPU (with enough VRAM) or a powerful CPU, sticking with cloud-based LLMs might be better.
Limited Multitasking:
Running a local LLM could slow down other processes on your device. If your goal is to run an LLM while working on other demanding programs like Photoshop, cloud alternatives might be better.
Complexity of Operation:
You're the captain of this ship. Keeping your local LLM updated and running smoothly is on you, which might be a hassle for some users. Not to mention, even setting up local LLMs on your machine might be a complicated task for some.

Despite these challenges, the field of local LLMs is rapidly evolving, with developers working on solutions to these limitations. As hardware becomes more powerful and models more efficient, many of these issues may become less significant over time.

The Future of Local LLMs

The world of local LLMs is evolving rapidly. Here's a glimpse of what the future might hold:

Increased Efficiency:
Models are becoming more compact and efficient, able to run on less powerful devices.
Improved Performance:
Local LLMs are getting closer to matching the capabilities of their cloud-based counterparts. Recent launches like Meta's llama-3.1-405b have proven that local LLMs can be comparable to state-of-the-art cloud-based models.
Specialized Models:
We might see more LLMs tailored for specific tasks or industries, running locally for enhanced privacy and speed.
Integration with Everyday Devices:
Imagine your smart home devices or car running local LLMs for more private and responsive AI assistance. With the launch of Windows "AI" computers, Google's new AI integration into Pixels, and Apple's local AI model, more and more everyday devices are being integrated with LLMs.
Democratization of AI:
As local LLMs become more accessible, we could see a boom in personal AI projects and applications.

Conclusion

Local LLMs represent an exciting frontier in AI technology. They offer a unique blend of privacy, control, and accessibility that could reshape how we interact with AI in our daily lives. While they come with their own set of challenges, the potential benefits are immense.

Whether you're a developer looking to experiment with AI, a privacy enthusiast seeking more control over your data, or just someone curious about the future of technology, local LLMs offer something intriguing. They're not just a tech trend – they're a step towards a future where powerful AI assistance is as personal and private as the thoughts in your own head.

As we move forward, the line between cloud-based and local AI may blur, with hybrid solutions emerging to offer the best of both worlds. Whatever the future holds, one thing is clear: AI is becoming more personal, more accessible, and more a part of our everyday lives than ever before. The era of AI in your hands is just beginning, and local LLMs are leading the charge.

Our Path

2024-08-09T00:00:00Z

We walked that path, side by side.

We greeted the birds, singing sorrows away.
We woke the sun, sharing our day.

We sang those songs, moving our sway.
We shared those days, hoping it'll stay.
/
I walk that path, step by step.

I greet the birds, singing in daze.
I wake the sun, bringing lonely days.

I sing these songs, hanging my lips,
I hate these days, facing its grips.
/
Do you walk, down that path?

Greet those birds, wake the sun?
Sing those songs, make the day?
/
It's not us, you're no more.
It's not me, not anymore.

So who is that, walking our path?

Bank of America Student Leaders

2024-08-09T00:00:00Z

Introduction

How do you want to spend your summer? Most choose to lounge around, sleep in, and rot away in bed, but this doesn't have to be you! Imagine spending your summer making a real difference in your community while meeting national leaders and fellow changemakers. That's exactly what the Bank of America Student Leaders program offers. As one of the 315 students chosen from thousands of applicants across the nation, I embarked on an 8-week journey that would shape my perspective on leadership, service, and community impact.

The program isn't just another internship – it's a launchpad for future leaders. It combines a paid internship at a local non-profit with an all-expenses-paid week-long summit in Washington, D.C. It's about exploring the interplay of non-profits, businesses, and government in shaping our communities. It's about forging connections with like-minded peers and learning from inspirational figures. If you're a high school junior or senior looking for a summer experience that will resonate far beyond those eight weeks, keep reading – you're about to discover why the Bank of America Student Leaders program might be your perfect next step.

About the Program

The Bank of America Student Leaders program is a paid internship program for high school Juniors and Seniors. Here's a quick overview:

8-week paid internship at a local non-profit
Week-long Leadership Summit in Washington, D.C.
Open to students in eligible markets across the U.S. (check website for eligible markets)
Focuses on developing leadership skills and understanding community impact
Provides networking opportunities with peers and professionals

It's a great program for future community leaders, offering hands-on experience in non-profit operations and insights into how businesses, non-profits, and government intersect to drive change.

Non-profit Internship

Day in the Life at Feeding America

My first day at Feeding America, the non-profit I interned at, I walked in expecting to file papers and make coffee. Instead, I found myself diving deep into data that could potentially change thousands of lives. As the "School Nutrition Program Intern," I was tasked with analyzing school meal data – a project that opened my eyes to the critical role of nutrition in education.

"Many children rely on school meals as their only source of nutrition, but schools are cost-prohibited from offering these meals."

My work involved running data analysis on school meals, finding correlations between enrollment in government school meal programs and the number of students fed. With support from community members and colleges, I had the privilege of creating my state's first database of CEP (Community Eligibility Provision) enrollment analysis.

Skill Development

When I started, I had never touched Excel. By the end, I was an Excel wizard, even dabbling in Python and machine learning to enhance my data analysis. This growth wasn't just about adding skills to my resume – it was about equipping myself with tools to make a tangible impact. Through this internship program, you will learn invaluable skills for life.

Non-profit Behind the Scenes

This internship gave me an insider's view of how non-profits operate. The complexity and intricacy involved in changing communities were eye-opening. It wasn't just about good intentions – it was about strategic planning, data-driven decision making, and relentless dedication. As someone who volunteers regularly, I thought I knew all about community service and impact, but there was so much more behind the scenes. If you're passionate about service and changing your community, I highly recommend this program.

Impact

Throughout the internship, I was reminded time and time again that my work had an impact. I wasn't working on projects that would be scrapped or given busy-work, I was changing lives and fighting for a cause I'm personally invested in. My work culminated in a 12-page report that is being shared with national non-profits in this space like No Kid Hungry and FRAC. Furthermore, policymakers and advocates for school meal programs are using my data analysis and report to advocate at the state and national level for improved school meal programs. This internship wasn't about padding resumes or making money, it was about changing and impacting my community.

DC Summit

The week-long summit in Washington, D.C. was, without a doubt, the highlight of the program. It was a whirlwind of seminars, workshops, and exploration that painted a vivid picture of how our government operates and the role of businesses and non-profits in shaping policy and community.

Seminars

From Chris Evans (yes, Captain America himself) to Senators, CEOs, and renowned film directors, our seminar speakers were a diverse group of inspirational leaders. Each session focused on a different topic:

Mental health awareness
Breaking down societal barriers
Entrepreneurship in the modern age
The intersection of policy and community action
Importance of political and community advocacy

These interactive sessions didn't just lecture at us – they engaged us in dialogue, challenging our perspectives and inspiring us to think bigger.

Small Group Workshops

Our small group workshops were the perfect complement to the high-energy seminars. In these intimate settings, we reflected on what we'd learned, debated policies, and explored how we could bring change to our communities. These groups became a safe space for open dialogue and personal growth.

Spending a week with my workshop, I came to see them as a close-knit family of students, many of whom I still contact today.

DC Exploration

Walking the same streets as our nation's leaders, past and present, was a surreal experience. From the awe-inspiring Lincoln Memorial to the treasure troves in the Smithsonian museums, every moment in D.C. was breathtaking.

One of my favorite moments was standing in front of the Lincoln Memorial, striking poses for the Instagram post (@07kyh). But as I lowered my camera, the magnitude of where I stood hit me. These iconic sites, while perfect for photos, carried a profound sense of history and responsibility. Walking through the memorials, I couldn't help but feel the weight of the decisions made within the walls of DC and contemplate the responsibility that we, as future leaders, would one day bear.

Tips for Applying

If you're considering applying (and I wholeheartedly think you should), here are some tips to make your application shine:

Embody the Motto: Serve, Inspire, Change
- The motto was heavily emphasized during the summit
- Highlight specific instances where you've served your community
- Share stories of how you've inspired others
- Demonstrate tangible changes you've made, no matter how small
Show Passion, Not Just Accomplishments
- Instead of listing achievements, connect them to your genuine passions
- Example: Don't just say you started a club; explain why that cause matters to you
- Everyone in this program is accomplished, so listing achievements won't make you stand out
Start Early, Finish Strong
- Begin brainstorming and writing months before the deadline
- Underestimating the length of the application is a big mistake many make
Prep for Interviews Like a Pro
- Research Bank of America's community engagement initiatives
- Prepare your "selling points" – what makes you unique?
- Have a "pitch" for your initiatives/main selling point
- Practice with a friend or mentor

Conclusion

The Bank of America Student Leaders program was more than just a summer experience – it was a launchpad for my future aspirations. It opened my eyes to the intricate interplay between non-profits, businesses, and government in driving community change. The connections I made, both with fellow student leaders and with established professionals, have become an invaluable network that I continue to lean on.

This program inspired me to launch Project Han (stay tuned for more details!) and has fundamentally shaped how I view my role in society. As I move forward in my academic and professional journey, I carry with me the lessons, skills, and inspiration gained from this transformative experience.

To every high school junior and senior reading this: I cannot recommend this program strongly enough. It's more than an impressive addition to your college applications – it's an opportunity to discover your potential as a leader and change-maker.

Are you ready to serve, inspire, and change? The application for next year's program will open this winter. Start preparing now, and you might find yourself on an incredible journey that will shape your future in ways you never imagined.

If you have any questions about the program or the application process, don't hesitate to reach out. Connect with me on LinkedIn or check out my website (isaacyk.com) for contact information. Remember, the entire Bank of America Student Leaders alumni network is rooting for your success!

Your journey as a leader starts now. Are you ready to take the first step?

Inside Stable Diffusion: Simplified Guide to Diffusion Modles

2024-07-03T00:00:00Z

Intro

Have you ever wondered how AI can create stunning images from simple text descriptions? It's like magic – you type in "a panda eating tacos at the beach," and seconds later, a brand-new image appears, perfectly matching your imagination.

In this post, I'll break down Stable Diffusion in a way that's easy to understand, even if you're new to the world of machine learning. We'll use helpful diagrams and simple explanations to guide you through the process, from your text prompt to the final image. By the end, you'll have a basic understanding of the magic behind AI-generated images and a glimpse into the future of creative technology.

So, let's dive in and explore the fascinating world of AI image generation!

Big Picture

Have you ever used an AI image generator? It's as simple as typing a prompt like "a panda eating tacos at the beach," waiting a few seconds, and voila! A brand new image appears. But how does this magic happen? Let's dive into the behind-the-scenes process using the diagram.

![[Pasted image 20240703151334.jpg]]

Let's start by looking at the entire process of stable diffusion, as shown in our model. The process of creating an image from text involves several key steps:

Input: We start with a text prompt, which enters through the "conditioning" area of our diagram. These can be thought of as a "guide" that the computer follows for image generation.
Encoding: The computer process starts in the "pixel space" with a random computer generated image as input. This random image is transformed by the encoder into a format that computers can work with, entering the "latent space".
Diffusion: Inside the "latent space", we add noise to data, basically creating a canvas of random blots of colors and dots.
Denoising: At the heart of the process is "Denoising U-Net". This complex network "denoises" or removes noise from your image, guided by your text prompt. At the end of this process, we remove all the noise added in our diffusion process.
Decoding: Finally, the refined data moves back into the "pixel space" through the decoder, which turns the computer's numbers and data into a visible image.

To recap, we enter a text prompt, which acts as a blueprint for the image we want to create. The computer starts with a randomly generated image and adds noise to it, making it unrecognizable. Guided by our text prompt, the AI then gradually removes this noise, revealing a new image that matches our description. The result is our final, AI-generated image that brings our words to life.

Break Down

We've gotten the overview of how AI image generation works, so let's zoom in on each component. We'll examine the specific parts of the process, understanding their unique roles in turning text into images.

![[Pasted image 20240703150627.jpg]]

Conditioning: This is where your text prompt enters the system. Throughout the entire process, especially during the Denoising U-Net stage, your description acts as a "guide" for image generation. Think of it as the blueprint or recipe for your image. The more detailed and specific your prompt, the more accurately the model can interpret your vision.
Text/Img Transformer: Computers don't understand human language directly. This component translates your text prompt into a numerical representation or "computer language." It converts words and concepts into vectors of numbers that the model can process. This translation allows the text to influence the image generation process at various stages.
Image Input: The computer process starts here, typically with structured random noise generated by the computer. This initial noise isn't completely random but has certain statistical properties that make it suitable for the diffusion process. However, in image-to-image models, an actual image can be input here. This initial input provides the raw material that will be shaped into your final image.
Encoder (E): The encoder takes the initial input (random noise or an image) and converts it into a structured numerical representation. This step compresses the information into a format that's more efficient for the model to process, capturing essential features in a compact form.
Latent Vector: This is the "storage" of the whole program. The vector holds and processes the encoded data so that the computer can understand it.
Forward Diffusion: In this step, noise is progressively added to the latent representation in a controlled manner. It's like slowly obscuring a clear image, making it increasingly fuzzy and indistinct. This process creates a path from clear images to pure noise, which the model will later learn to reverse.
Noisy Latent Vector: This is the end result of the forward diffusion process - a completely noised representation. It's important to note that this isn't a visual image, but rather a set of numbers representing a maximally noisy state of the image.
Reverse Diffusion (U-Net): The U-Net architecture is crucial for the denoising process. It's responsible for image detail retrieval and reconstruction. Imagine it as a funnel that first breaks down the noisy input, extracting relevant features, and then builds it back up, reconstructing a cleaner version guided by the conditioning information (text prompt).
Denoising Network: Working hand-in-hand with the U-Net, this network predicts and removes the noise added during forward diffusion. It does this iteratively, gradually clarifying the image. With each pass, it refines its prediction, guided by your text prompt, until a clean representation emerges.
Decoder (D): Once the denoising process is complete, we're left with a clean representation in the latent space. The decoder's job is to transform this abstract, numerical representation back into a visual image. It's like translating the computer's internal language back into a format our eyes can understand.
Final Image: This is the culmination of the entire process - a generated image that matches your text prompt. It's a visual representation born from random noise, shaped by mathematical processes, and guided by your description.

Putting it All Together

Now that we've gone through every part, let's see how they work together. We'll walk through the entire process, step by step, using our newfound knowledge to see how a simple text prompt becomes a complex image.

![[Pasted image 20240703150659.jpg]]

You type your prompt into the Conditioning component: "a panda eating tacos at the beach". Simultaneously, the computer (image input) generates structured random noise - imagine a canvas of static.
The Text/Img Transformer converts "panda," "tacos," "beach" into numerical vectors. These will guide the image creation throughout the process.
The Encoder (E) transforms the noise into a compact representation in Latent Space. Think of this as compressing the static into a dense packet of information.
In Latent Space, Forward Diffusion adds noise gradually. Our "panda-taco-beach" concept is now hidden within layers of mathematical noise.
The Denoising U-Net begins its work on this Noisy Latent Vector. Guided by the numerical representation of our prompt, it starts to extract meaningful patterns from the noise. For example, it might begin to discern the roundness of a panda, the triangular shape of a taco, and the horizontal lines of a beach.
Within the U-Net, the Denoising Network plays a crucial role. In each iteration (typically 50-100 passes), it predicts and removes a layer of noise. With each pass, the "panda-taco-beach" concept becomes more defined in the latent space. The taco starts to look less grainy, more detailed, and more taco-like. Throughout this process, the original text prompt continues to influence the denoising, ensuring the image stays true to your description.
As denoising progresses, the network might first identify broad concepts like "animal," "food," and "outdoor scene." Gradually, it refines these into more specific elements: the panda's shape, the taco's texture, the beach's colors.
Once denoising is complete, we're left with a cleaned latent representation. It's a precise mathematical description of our scene, but not yet a visible image.
The Decoder (D) takes this cleaned latent representation and transforms it back into the Pixel Space. It's like translating a complex mathematical equation into a painting.
Finally, the Final Image emerges - a unique visual interpretation of "a panda eating tacos at the beach," born from random noise and shaped by AI.

Conclusion

From random noise to stunning images, we've uncovered the magic behind AI image generation. While the process is complex, the idea is simple: guiding a computer to transform chaos into art using words.

As AI reshapes our world, understanding these technologies becomes crucial. Whether you're an artist, a tech enthusiast, or simply curious, the ability to grasp and interact with AI will be invaluable.

This is just the beginning. AI has made progress by leaps and bounds in the past couple years, and we're just getting started. If you don't want to fall behind, start learning now!

Resources

[2112.10752] High-Resolution Image Synthesis with Latent Diffusion Models (arxiv.org) (Original Stable Diffusion Paper)

Claude.ai (Arguably the best AI model available right now - use to learn and understand complex topics)

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOspHqNVtKAC-FUNMq8qjYVw6_semZHw0&si=iBueHaiYgf5iQf9c (IBM playlist on AI models)

Sacred Revelation

2024-06-27T00:00:00Z

Award: Gold Key (Scholastic Art and Writing Awards – Nationals)

Intro: The poem was influenced by a writing session done in the church at night. Seeing the stars shining through the glass panes, I was driven to write this poem.

In a sacred scene, Mother Mary's tender touch, Caresses Jesus Christ, a love that means so much. Apostle Paul, his voice resounds, preaching to the crowd, Words of faith and hope, his message ringing loud.

But Christ, upon the cross, begins to fade away, His sacrifice unfolding on that vengeful day. A pure glass radiates, with holy aurora gleaming, An ethereal light, a divine presence beaming.

The masses bow in reverence, their spirits deeply moved, Cherubim with feathered blades, their faces gently soothed. A cross crashes onto the stage, a symbol fierce and strong, Pillars explode, the sky darkens, a moment fraught with wrong.

The crow's screech pierces the air, a mournful cry is heard, Death's presence lingers, an inferno's wrath incurred. Hades beckons, souls in turmoil, seeking solace and release, A haunting reminder of life's transient peace.

In this evocative moment, emotions intertwine, The divine and earthly, the sacred and sublime. A tapestry of faith and fear, hope and despair, A glimpse into the depths of humanity's shared prayer.

Dark Eyes Within

2024-06-27T00:00:00Z

Award: Gold Key (Scholastic Art and Writing Awards – Nationals)

Intro: Many are afraid to address their flaws and shortcomings. However, improvement and development only come by addressing these problems and facing one's fears. This poem aims to address the stigma around our flaws and encourage embracing our flaws

Peer deep into the abyss, where shadows dance and sway,
And in that murky void, the abyss meets your gaze.

A skeletal ghost, haunting the realms of time,
Yearning for redemption, a chance to heal the prime.

Haunting us all, regrets gnaw at our soul.

Within ourselves, it lies, that darkness to explore,
Rotted at the core, a festering wound we can't ignore.

Abyssal depths within, a reflection of our soul,
A battle fought within, to mend and make us whole.

In the depths of despair, memories long repressed,
A whispered plea for solace, a chance for grace to shine.

The abyss beckons softly, a tempest in disguise,
Yet amidst the darkness, a glimmering truth may arise.

Embrace the haunting specter, let it guide your way,
For within its skeletal frame, wisdom holds its sway.

Redemption's elusive touch, a balm for wounds that bleed,
As we confront our shadows, the darkest parts we need.

So gaze into the abyss, let it mirror your strife,
Unveiling the raw essence, the truth beneath life.

Embrace the fragility, flaws we can't ignore,
And through redemption's journey, our spirit can restore.

Beyond the Resume: Digital Presence That Speaks Volumes

2024-06-27T00:00:00Z

Introduction

In an era where our digital footprints often precede our physical presence, cultivating a strong online presence has become more than just a trend—it's a professional necessity. Imagine walking into a room where everyone already knows your accomplishments, skills, and potential. That's the power of a well-crafted digital presence. Whether you're a recent graduate stepping into the job market, a seasoned professional looking to advance your career, or an entrepreneur seeking to expand your network, your online persona can open doors you didn't even know existed.

This post will guide you through the intricacies of building and maintaining a compelling digital presence. We'll explore the art of personal branding, the nuances of networking in the digital age, and innovative ways to showcase your skills and projects. By the end, you'll understand why your digital presence is not just a reflection of your professional self, but a powerful tool for career growth and opportunity creation.

The Power of Personal Branding

In today's digital age, your online presence can be a make-or-break factor in your professional life. Consider this: 80% of employers conduct online searches of potential candidates before extending interview invitations. This statistic underscores the critical importance of managing your digital footprint.

As our lives become increasingly intertwined with the digital world, taking control of your online narrative is no longer optional—it's essential. When a potential employer searches your name, what will they find? Will it be a professional portfolio showcasing your accomplishments, or potentially problematic social media posts? While you can't control who searches for you online, you can certainly influence what they discover.

The goal is to cultivate a strong personal brand. Think of yourself as a brand, with your skills and experiences as the product you're offering to potential employers or clients. Ask yourself: What do you want your brand to represent? What field or skills do you want to be known for? Consistency across platforms is key to establishing a coherent personal brand. You want to present yourself as an expert in your specific field, not as someone with scattered, unfocused interests.

To stand out, it's crucial to highlight your unique value proposition. What sets you apart from others in your field? What specific skills or experiences make you valuable? Identify your strengths and ensure they're prominently featured in your online presence. When someone searches for you, they should quickly grasp your core competencies and professional focus.

Networking in the Digital Age

Professional networking has evolved significantly in the digital era. While face-to-face interactions remain valuable, platforms like LinkedIn have become indispensable tools for building and maintaining professional relationships. These social networking services make it easier than ever to connect with industry leaders, discover new opportunities, and increase your visibility within your field.

LinkedIn, in particular, offers a wealth of opportunities for professional growth. It's a platform where you can "connect" with and learn from successful individuals in your industry. What resources are they using? How have they achieved their success? Do they offer any advice for excelling in your field? I've personally found inspiration by reviewing LinkedIn profiles of people in my fields of interest. Furthermore, I was able to secure many internships, research, and other opportunities through LinkedIn. The age-old adage "it's not what you know, but who you know" remains relevant in the digital age. While having great skills is important, knowing the right people who can leverage those skills can be equally crucial for career advancement.

Showcasing Skills and Projects: Learning in Public

Continuous learning is a hallmark of top performers across all industries. We're constantly acquiring new skills, reading insightful books, and accumulating valuable knowledge. However, the true value of learning is realized when it's shared with others. This is where the concept of "learning in public" comes into play.

Learning in public is based on the principle that sharing your learning journey can accelerate your growth and foster a supportive community. By documenting your progress, sharing your insights, and engaging with others, you not only receive valuable feedback but also establish yourself as a proactive learner in your field. This approach serves the dual purpose of enhancing your skills and building your personal brand.

Your digital presence can be effectively showcased through a digital portfolio. This online compilation of your work can take various forms depending on your field. For instance, software developers might use GitHub to showcase their code, while visual artists might prefer platforms like DeviantArt or Behance. These platforms allow you to target specific audiences related to your interests and demonstrate your skills in a relevant context.

Content creation is another powerful way to build your digital portfolio. Writing blog posts, recording videos, or hosting podcasts can effectively demonstrate your expertise and thought leadership in your field. By consistently producing high-quality content, you not only showcase your knowledge but also provide value to others in your industry, further enhancing your professional reputation.

Conclusion

As we've explored throughout this post, your digital presence is far more than just a collection of social media profiles or a personal website. It's a dynamic, evolving representation of your professional identity—a 24/7 ambassador working tirelessly to showcase your skills, connect you with opportunities, and establish your expertise in your field.

Building a strong digital presence is not a one-time task, but an ongoing journey. It requires consistency, authenticity, and a willingness to adapt to the ever-changing digital landscape. Remember, every blog post you write, every project you share, and every meaningful connection you make online contributes to the narrative you're crafting about yourself.

As you move forward, challenge yourself to step out of your comfort zone. Share your learning journey, engage with others in your field, and don't be afraid to let your unique voice shine through your digital channels. Your experiences, insights, and even your struggles can resonate with others and help establish you as a relatable and knowledgeable figure in your industry.

The digital world offers unprecedented opportunities for professional growth and networking. By thoughtfully curating your online presence, you're not just preparing for your next job interview or client meeting—you're opening yourself up to possibilities you might never have imagined. So, take control of your digital narrative today. Your future self will thank you for the doors you've opened and the opportunities you've created through your powerful digital presence.

How to Study: 112/26 Rule

2024-06-14T00:00:00Z

Intro

Sitting at a desk, taking notes on your textbook ... I don't know about you, but I just can't stand textbooks. If I really put my mind to it, maybe I can go 20 or even 30 minutes without a break. But we all know that feeling, that itch for a break ... when you've just finished your break minutes ago. I'm sure we've all experienced this, and I was trapped by this unproductive routine. That was until I discovered the power of structured work/break schedules.

Research has shown that a structured work/break schedule is more productive than unstructured work/break schedules. The goal with work/break schedules is to maintain high productivity and focus for a certain period of time and then recharge with a break. The 112/26 rule is a specific schedule that balances work and break. Introduced by the DeskTime software company in 2021, the method was widely popularized by productivity influencers and media.

I have personally been using structured work/break schedules for years now, and I can attest that my productivity has skyrocketed. By implementing these techniques, I've been able to stay focused for longer periods, complete tasks more efficiently, and maintain a better work-life balance. Gone are the days of burnout and procrastination.

In this post, I'll draw on both research and anecdotal evidence to discuss work/break schedules, different variations, and their benefits. Whether you're a student struggling to stay focused or a professional looking to optimize your workday, understanding and implementing these strategies can be a game-changer. Get ready to take control of your productivity and say goodbye to that nagging desire for constant breaks.

112/26 Rule

The 112/26 rule is a simple yet powerful technique that consists of two parts: 112 minutes of focused work followed by a 26-minute break. To get started, you'll need to set up two timers: one for 112 minutes and another for 26 minutes. During the 112-minute work session, it's crucial to eliminate all distractions and work productively. I recommend physically placing your phone in another room and using website blockers to prevent digital distractions from derailing your focus.

Once the 112 minutes are up, it's time for a well-deserved 26-minute break. Use this time to relax, recharge, and engage in activities that help you disconnect from work. After the break, dive back into another 112-minute work session, and continue this cycle throughout your day.

The 112/26 rule is particularly effective for tasks that require longer periods of sustained focus, such as reviewing material, learning new concepts, or engaging in deep reading. However, for tasks that are better suited to shorter bursts of productivity, like responding to emails or completing quick administrative tasks, other variations of the work/break schedule may be more appropriate. Two popular alternatives are the Pomodoro Technique, which consists of 25-minute work sessions followed by 5-minute breaks (25/5), and the 52/17 rule, which involves 52 minutes of work and 17-minute breaks.

Why

The effectiveness of structured work/break schedules is backed by scientific research. A study conducted with 87 graduate students found that systematic break conditions, such as the 25/5 (Pomodoro Technique) and 12/3 schedules, led to higher concentration, perceiving learning tasks as less difficult, and more efficient task completion compared to self-regulated study/break sessions. The self-regulated sessions, which had longer study and break blocks, resulted in higher fatigue, distractedness, and lower concentration (Biwer et al., 2022).

Similarly, a study of 232 office workers revealed that regular breaks led to reduced musculoskeletal discomfort and fatigue, decreased stress levels, improved mood, and reduced mental fatigue compared to having no breaks or passive breaks, such as scrolling through social media or texting (Radwan et al., 2022).

But what should you do during your breaks to maximize their effectiveness? A study of 160 college students compared two different break activities: relaxation breaks (progressive muscle relaxation) and physical breaks (15 minutes on a stationary bike). The relaxation breaks were found to maximize relaxation and psychological detachment, while the physical breaks boosted energy levels but led to lower levels of relaxation and psychological detachment. Interestingly, both types of breaks led to equal amounts of lower fatigue and increased self-regulatory capacity, which is the ability to focus, manage stress, and override impulses like procrastination (Ragsdale et al., 2022). A mix of both physical and relaxation breaks can be beneficial, but you should choose depending on your needs.

Anecdotal Evidence

The power of structured work/break schedules is not just supported by research, but also by real-world examples. DeskTime, a productivity and time management software company, analyzed the work habits of their top 10% most productive users and found that, on average, they followed a 112/26 work/break schedule. Interestingly, in a previous study conducted by DeskTime in 2014, the most productive 10% had a work/break schedule of 52/17. These findings have led to the widespread adoption and endorsement of both the 112/26 and 52/17 rules by productivity influencers and media outlets.

But these aren't the only effective work/break schedules out there. The Pomodoro Technique, which consists of 25-minute work sessions followed by 5-minute breaks (25/5), has been a popular productivity hack since the 1980s.

In my personal experience, I find that different tasks call for different work/break schedules. For longer study sessions or deep work, I gravitate towards the 112/26 or 52/17 rule to maintain focus and momentum. However, for shorter work sessions or tasks that require less concentration, I prefer the 25/5 rule.

If you're new to the concept of structured work/break schedules, I recommend starting with the Pomodoro Technique (25/5 rule). The 25-minute work sessions are manageable and approachable, making it easier to build the habit of working in focused intervals. As you become more comfortable with this style of working, you can experiment with longer work/break schedules like the 112/26 and 52/17 rules to find what works best for you.

Conclusion

The 112/26 rule is a game-changing work/break schedule that can revolutionize your productivity and focus. As we've seen from the research, structured breaks can lead to lower fatigue and stress, higher concentration, and improved efficiency. While the 112/26 rule is a powerful tool, it's important to remember that it's not the only option. Other schedules like the 52/17 rule and the Pomodoro Technique (25/5) can also be highly effective for different types of tasks and personal preferences.

If you're ready to take control of your productivity, start by choosing your preferred work/break schedule, set a timer, and begin boosting your productivity today! Remember, small changes in your work habits can lead to significant results over time. By incorporating structured breaks into your daily routine, you'll be well on your way to unlocking your full potential and achieving your goals.

References

Biwer, F., Donkers, J., Wallen, G., & de Bruin, A. (2022). The influence of self-regulated versus experimenter-induced breaks on study behaviour and study outcomes. British Journal of Educational Psychology, 92(3), 1112-1130. https://doi.org/10.1111/bjep.12593

Radwan, H., Saad, A., Eid, N., & Farahat, M. (2022). The effect of work break on the pain, stress, and mood of office worker. Cogent Engineering, 9(1), Article 2026206. https://doi.org/10.1080/23311916.2022.2026206

Ragsdale, J. M., Hoover, C. S., & Wood, K. (2022). Investigating affective benefits of physical activity versus progressive muscle relaxation during work breaks: Activities' effects on self-regulatory resources. Stress and Health, 38(1), 114-123. https://doi.org/10.1002/smi.3108

Three Lessons for Academic Success

2024-06-13T00:00:00Z

Introduction

My high school career has been defined by extraordinary personal growth. High school has given me both my best and worst moments, all of which have contributed to my development. Junior year, in particular, has been pivotal; not only because it matters most for college applications, but also because it's the year I experienced the most growth. Throughout junior year, I came to understand three important lessons that I wish I had realized sooner. By applying and utilizing these lessons, I believe that everyone's ability to succeed academically and personally will be enhanced.

Mental Health

The first lesson I learned was the importance of mental health. Naive and unaware, I disregarded academics freshman year and solely focused on my interests. While this resulted in quality time with friends and good mental health, it came at the cost of my academic performance.

Sophomore year, my immersion into summer programs shook my understanding of academics; I was suddenly thrown out of my comfort zone and into a vast, competitive ocean. For once, I felt "average" compared to my accomplished peers, leading to my academic crusade junior year.

Junior year, my focus shifted solely to academics. Friends, hobbies, and even sleep were luxuries I couldn't afford. Caffeine fueled, 4 am study sessions became the norm as I prioritized studies above all else.

After weeks of constant breakdowns, I realized something had to change. Gradually, I started to prioritize my mental health, finding ways to manage stress. Now that junior year is over, I've come to realize how critical mental health is, especially for driven students. By struggling with and ultimately learning to manage my mental health, I discovered the necessity of balance and self-care.

Passion and Drive

The second key lesson was the power of passion and drive. True drive is intrinsic and lasting, compelling you forward until you've attained your goals.

My family's financial struggles ignited an innate drive in me to help them and others in need. Combined with a passion for economics and finance uncovered in my sophomore year, this drove me to study relentlessly despite the toll on my well-being. Passion and drive, not fleeting motivation, enabled me to survive sleepless and stressful days. I've learned that true passion provides deep wells of drive to draw upon.

Hard Work

Genius is 1% talent and 99% hard work - but the hard work doesn't always pay off how or when you expect. Seeing peers with more resources achieve the same things with seemingly less effort, I often felt discouraged. Yet I had no choice but to work harder.

Rejection after rejection, I kept telling myself that hard work would be rewarded. Near the end of my grueling application process, I finally earned acceptances to highly selective programs. This demonstrated that hard work does pay off, even if the rewards are different or later than anticipated.

Moving Forward

These lessons define my growth throughout high school. They were hard-earned through challenges and failures, making their impact all the more profound. As I move forward in my educational journey and in life, I will carry these lessons with me, applying them to overcome future obstacles and continue striving for success and fulfillment. I hope that by sharing them, I can inspire others to persist through their own struggles and hold fast to the beliefs that hard work, passion, drive, and balance can help them achieve their dreams.

Code a Website in 30 Days

2024-06-08T00:00:00Z

Introduction

In today's technology-driven world, knowing how to code is more than just a valuable skill—it's a superpower. Web development, in particular, offers countless practical applications and opportunities. Whether you're looking to boost your career, bring your ideas to life, or simply understand the digital world better, learning web development is an investment in your future. This post will guide you through effective strategies for teaching yourself web development, based on my personal experience and proven learning techniques.

1. Start with a Project

Hands-on learning is hands-down the best way to master coding. The syntax for web development is repetitive, so the more you practice, the more natural it becomes. However, choosing a project that genuinely interests you is crucial. If you're passionate about video games but force yourself to build a baking website, you'll struggle to stay motivated.

A personal portfolio website is an excellent starting point for beginners. It's practical, allows you to showcase your growing skills, and can evolve as you learn. But don't limit yourself—choose any project that excites you.

Projects provide visible progress and tangible results, which are invaluable when you're learning. Coding can sometimes feel like wading through a swamp, but having a project with real, visible outcomes can motivate you to keep pushing forward.

2. Build a System, Not Rely on Motivation

Let's be honest: coding is challenging. There will be days when you feel stuck on a concept, and motivation seems to evaporate. But it's consistency through these tough moments that leads to the fastest improvement.

James Clear's book "Atomic Habits" offers insights we can apply to learning web development:

Make practice inevitable: Design your environment for coding. Pin VSCode (or your preferred code editor) to your taskbar. Set aside specific times for coding, treating them as non-negotiable appointments with yourself.
Track progress and celebrate small wins: Keep a calendar to mark the days you code. Celebrating small victories—like fixing a stubborn bug—reinforces your progress and boosts your confidence. These celebrations remind you that you're capable and making real progress, even when the journey feels tough.

3. Leverage Structured Learning Resources

One of the biggest hurdles in learning to code is knowing where to start. While there are quality resources available on various platforms like YouTube and blogs, having a structured curriculum can be immensely helpful.

From personal experience, I highly recommend "The Odin Project." It's a free, open-source course that covers both basic and advanced web development concepts. With clear explanations, practical projects, and a supportive community, The Odin Project provides a comprehensive roadmap for aspiring web developers.

4. Harness the Power of AI

Artificial Intelligence is revolutionizing how we learn and work, yet many people aren't utilizing it effectively in their learning journey. When used correctly, AI can become your personal web development tutor, available 24/7.

AI can assist with debugging, explain complex concepts, and even help brainstorm solutions to coding challenges. Currently, I recommend using Claude for coding assistance, as it excels in this area.

However, it's crucial to strike a balance. While AI can accelerate your learning, be cautious not to become overly reliant on it. Use AI as a tool to enhance your understanding, not as a crutch to avoid learning.

5. My Web Development Journey

My own web development journey began in an unexpected place: my AP Stats class after the AP exams. With an hour of free time each day, I decided to tackle a long-standing goal of mine—creating my own website.

Armed with determination and the strategies I've shared in this post, I dove into learning web development. Two weeks later, I had my personal website up and running. You can check it out at isaacyk.com.

This experience taught me valuable lessons about self-directed learning, perseverance, and the power of having a concrete project to work towards.

Conclusion

As you embark on your coding journey, remember these key points:

Start with a project that excites you and can grow with your skills.
Create a system that holds you accountable—don't rely solely on motivation.
Use structured resources like The Odin Project to guide your learning.
Leverage AI as a powerful learning tool, but be careful not to let it become a crutch.

Learning to code can be challenging, especially in the beginning. But trust me, the moment when everything "clicks" is incredibly rewarding. With dedication and the right approach, you can go from complete beginner to coding your own website in just 30 days.

Remember, every expert was once a beginner. The most important step is to start. So, why not begin your web development journey today? Your future self will thank you for the skills you're about to acquire.

Society

2024-04-01T00:00:00Z

Award: Honorable Mention (Scholastic Art and Writing Awards)

Intro: Accolades define our worth in today's society, and sacrificing our lives for societal approval seems obvious, even necessary. In light of this societal norm, this piece comments on the futility of societal expectations.

Empty souls, living to die,

Lifeless flesh, too busy to live.

Monotonous faces, slaved to norms,

Unrelenting pressure, suffocated to death.

Chasing success, forgetting happiness,

Defined by accolades, failure shunned.

Futile quest, delusion of happiness,

Racing rats, lives squandered.

Inevitable demise, lived in vain.

Echoes of Death

2024-04-01T00:00:00Z

Award: Silver Key (Scholastic Art and Writing Awards)

Intro: Surrounded by the suffocating cruelty of war, I was compelledto write this piece to mirror the horrors of war. As a visceral response to the unspeakable atrocities of conflict, this work seeks to illuminate the depths of suffering, horror, and brutality wrought by war.

In the realm of shadows, where death fills the air, Inferno engulfs, with Hades' beckon, a despair. Streets stained with blood, a scene so grim and dire, Hell's domain emerges, demons dance in fire.

Awakening from slumber, a haunting sight unfolds, A panorama of darkness, where torment enfolds. A river, ebony as the depths of death's own abyss, Carries me through this realm, beckoned by its somber kiss.

The stifling air suffocates, with charred flesh's scent, Anguished cries echo, agony on chests imprinted. Not the world's final breath, For the world has already gone to dust.

Children, cruelly mutilated, their limbs torn apart, Mothers compelled to consume their own bleeding hearts. Tears flow ceaselessly, Niobe's tears, put to shame. Fathers, driven to slay kin, survival their only gain.

A symphony of anguish, self-loathing fills the air, Kings scrape the ground, desperate crumbs they ensnare. The powerful grovel, seeking mercy's fleeting grace.

A skeletal figure gazes upon its own decay, Bones protruding, half-devoured flesh in disarray. Rotting, black boils fester, plaguing weary skin, A ghastly metamorphosis, the depths of torment within.

Chains of Time

2024-04-01T00:00:00Z

Award: Silver Key (Scholastic Art and Writing Awards)

Intro: This work aims to explore the fragility and transience of human existence. Oftentimes, we are overwhelmed and trapped by the shadows of our past, overlooking the invaluable essence of time. Exploring the conquest of regret and the acceptance of time's ephemerality, the poem seeks to unravel a universally relatable theme.

Chained by the world's order.
The grip that holds all.

The waves in the ocean, the flowers in the field.
Fragile, transient.

Time, Waits for none, stops for none. Time, the bane of all.
A sorrowful surrender, A past of regrets. The tears of Niobe, how they plague my soul.

Nay, nay, cease thy sorrow. 'Tis but the laws of the world, The chain that binds us all.
Cease thy struggles, The futile resistance. Even the gods, yoked to the chains.
So cry no more, Regret no more.

Beyond the waves, the sun rises another day. Beyond the flowers, seeds spring new life.
Think not of days to end, but of days to come.
Every ending, a new beginning.

Time so precious, cease thy squander.
Nay, nay, chained no more.
Break thy chains, restrained no more.

An Inkwell's Dream

2024-04-01T00:00:00Z

Award: Silver Key (Scholastic Art and Writing Awards)

Intro: Drawn by the mystical alure of books, I have devoted myself to traversing the myriad of realms and dimensions that transcend the confines of a book. A humble attempt at capturing the ineffable beauty of books, this piece is a testament to the transformative power of books.

Once, birds sang their songs, but now they're still, The retreating sunlight bids its farewell, a gentle thrill. Night's chill arrives, greeting me in this familiar space, Where thoughts and ideas dance, finding their place.

Tales of gods, heroes, loss, and reunion untold, Ink on paper, emotions, and tears unfold. Scratch, scratch, scratch, a quill swiftly writes, On the table, crumpled papers, a writer's fights.

In a neglected room, a damp and musty smell, Draw closer, and time seems to halt its journey, as well. The man and his quill exist, everything else fades away, Years pass, until the magnum opus sees the light of day.

The book yearns to be opened, waiting to be read, As I approach with hesitation, afraid to tread. Am I qualified to enter this sacred realm? To touch the purity of words, the author's overwhelming helm?

I reach out and touch the book, instantly drawn inside, Into the author's world, where ideas and words collide. In Athens, I find myself amidst brilliant minds, Socrates, Leonardo, Plato, sharing thoughts that bind.

Flown to the gladiators, their fate hanging in the air, The sand, the heat, the crowd's deafening cheer. Then, a dark forest, wind breezing by my armor, Marching alongside soldiers, feeling their valor.
Traveling through worlds, living different lives, From inferno to paradise, where destiny thrives. Suddenly, my eyes open, flooding light into my room, Awakening from the dream, back from the extraordinary gloom.

Achievement Addiction

2024-04-01T00:00:00Z

Award: Honorable Mention (Scholastic Art and Writing Awards)

Intro: Mounting societal pressures place an unbearable burden on teens, leading to an epidemic of detrimental mental health issues. This essay explores the pervasive mental health issue of accomplished teens correlating and deriving their self-worth from their accolades.

Facing today's youth is a global epidemic of mental health issues. Due to mounting societal pressures and expectations, today's talented young individuals are correlating their achievements with self-worth. Growing up in a society where the grades one achieves, accolades they obtain, and the university they attend is valued more than one's well being, many are crushed under the invisible, yet suffocating pressures of society. Being expected to give up one's passions for "socially accepted accomplishments," many young people sacrifice their mental health for marginal gains in achievements. Due to this unending cycle of chasing after accomplishments, many high-achievers are deriving their self-worth from their accomplishments. When high-achievers meet the expectations placed on them, they maintain a strong mental state. However, the problem occurs when they fail to meet the expectations placed on them by others and themselves. One will inevitably face a seemingly insurmountable wall, and it's under this setback that the mental state of high-achievers crumbles. Because they derived their self-worth from their achievements, their self-esteem and confidence will crumble in the face of challenges they can't overcome. As a problem stemming from societal norms and impacting the lives of many, the tendency to correlate self-worth with achievements is a silent curse, eating away at the lives of many.

With the rise of social media, many youth have felt the social pressure to succeed in a visible manner. In a society flooded with stories of successful people, young individuals are presented with the daunting task of achieving the same level of success. Given this impossible task, many outright give-up and fail, but those that embark on the path to "success" are praised. This cycle of praise for visible success and scorn for seemingly disappointing results implant a dangerous mindset into young students: success at any cost. Sacrificing one's time, happiness, and even health, many young people chase after tangible achievements and accolades. Drunk on societal approval and praise, these high-achievers search for more, work for more, and accomplish more, building up their identity based on their achievements. The dangers of forming an identity based on accomplishments is clear: one becomes fragile to setbacks. As beautiful the glass castle of accomplishments may be, in the end, it's glass. Once someone yokes their identity to their accomplishments, their identity is shattered in the face of adversity. Because failure and defeat are inevitable, those high-achievers face an inevitable identity crisis. Having built their whole lives around their accomplishments, many find it hard or even impossible to overcome the identity crisis, leading to various mental health issues.

Tantamount to a life-threatening crisis, the inability to overcome a challenge debilitates the high-achiever's ability to perceive oneself in a positive light. Because success and achievements are so fundamental to their identity, facing an insurmountable wall, their mental health crumbles. Unable to rationalize their self-worth through accomplishments, they develop dangerously low self esteem and confidence. Without the accomplishments that they got praised for, the high-achievers feel as if they got stripped of their talent and purpose in life. However, the negative mental health effects begin even before facing the unconquerable challenges. Every day, the high-achievers are expected to exert every ounce of their energy into striving for more accomplishments. Under this high-intensity environment where they are drained physically, emotionally, and mentally, they are subject to dangerously high levels of stress. Living under the constant pressure, these young students are subject to weak mental and emotional health.

In a relentless pursuit of perfection where 99% is never enough and sleep becomes an afterthought, the dominance of this pursuit can consume one's existence. Like many in the younger generation, I too have grappled with the societal pressure to succeed, a pressure so pervasive that it often surpasses concerns for one's health. Growing up surrounded by a multitude of high-achievers, including my father with a PhD and friends frequenting award ceremonies, I constantly felt the weight of comparison. Amidst these outstanding individuals, I stuck out like a sore thumb. While I might be considered "above-average" or "smart" in other contexts, in my environment, I was deemed nothing more than "average" – the embodiment of mediocrity. Faced with high expectations from both peers and myself, I poured my heart and soul into studying and self-improvement. Shifting my priorities away from social, emotional, and physical health, I began amputating anything that hindered me from achieving my goals. From spending time with friends to ensuring proper sleep, nothing remained untouched. These radical measures brought recognition and acceptance; peers and mentors praised me. However, once the cycle of achievement and praise commenced, turning back became impossible. Each day, the expectation to outperform previous accomplishments became an insurmountable challenge. Facing diminishing returns, I sacrificed more each day. Soon, I became the "standard" for my peers – doing worse than me was expected, and doing better was a cause for celebration. Essentially, I found myself competing alone against the entire school. With this excruciating amount of pressure, I saw my own deterioration – dark circles deepening, mood swings intensifying, and my self-esteem sinking lower. At its peak, even achieving a perfect grade left me disappointed, questioning if I could have done better. Under constant pressure and lacking self-care, I finally shattered. A single test grade became the catalyst, making me envision myself as unworthy and a disappointment to those with high expectations. My personal journey is a testament to the profound impact a high-pressure environment can have on the mental health of many youths today.

Due to the expansive and complex nature of the problem, there isn't a perfect solution that will help everyone, but there are some practices to promote better well-being. The first step is advocating for a more inclusive definition of success. In today's society, success exclusively revolves around achievements and grades, neglecting recognition of personal growth or happiness and well-being. By broadening the definition of success, today's youth can realize that personal growth and attaining happiness are forms of success. Rather than sacrificing personal development and happiness for the narrow definition of "success," they can harmonize academic success and personal development under the broader definition of success. Furthermore, today's youth must understand that every individual is multifaceted—grades and achievements alone aren't enough to define anyone. Because everyone is made up of more than the trophies they hang on their walls, one's achievements are an insufficient measure to evaluate self-worth. While accepting this truth can be challenging due to societal expectations and biases towards visible accomplishments, it can be achieved through a cultural shift that celebrates the depth of human attributes. Finally, it is vital for today's young generation to realize that success can only be achieved with a healthy mind and body. It's physically, mentally, and emotionally impossible to attain success with a crumbling body. While striving for improvement and better grades is commendable, it shouldn't come at the cost of one's well-being. Through these various practices, the pressing problem of individuals correlating their achievements with self-worth can be addressed.

As a community leader who has personally experienced the social pressures to succeed and been affected by them, I am dedicated to creating an environment where individuals can liberate themselves from these burdens. In my community, I address this issue by shifting the focus from "achieving" to "exploring." Emphasizing the exploration of one's passions and dreams, rather than fixating on achievements, fosters better mental health and balance. Many high-achievers are often misled into thinking that they must sacrifice either their passions or their success and achievements. Contrary to this, I firmly believe that achievements and success can be found in pursuing one's passions. To promote this belief, I have initiated various programs and supported different organizations that encourage the exploration of one's passions. For example, through my Investment Book Club and Investment Club, I provide a supportive environment for members to cultivate their passion for finance and investments. Bay Gives Back, another initiative of mine, offers a space for members to advance their passion for service and aid. Furthermore, my volunteering at Discover World serves as an excellent example of how I assist others in kindling and exploring their passions. By exposing patrons to scientific wonders and innovations, I contribute to the development and growth of their love for the sciences. As I gain more experience and encounter additional opportunities, my goal is to utilize them to guide others away from the narrow definition of "success" and towards a path of exploring their passions.

The pervasive issue facing today's youth—an epidemic of mental health challenges exacerbated by societal pressures—is complex and multifaceted. The impact is profound, affecting not only high-achievers but the broader youth population. The dangers posed by forming an identity formed solely around achievements are evident, making individuals fragile to setbacks. The rise of social media has intensified the pressure to succeed visibly, fostering a mindset that prioritizes success at any cost. This pursuit often leads to sacrificing essential elements of life—time, happiness, and health—resulting in a dangerous identity built solely on achievements. My personal academic journey emphasizes the toll of this relentless pursuit of perfection, where even a perfect grade can leave one disappointed. The call to action is clear—to redefine success, promote a more inclusive definition that values personal growth and happiness alongside traditional achievements. As a community leader, my commitment is to create environments where individuals can liberate themselves from societal burdens. Shifting the focus from "achieving" to "exploring" allows for a more balanced and mentally healthy approach. Today's youth are faced with a brutal society where individual worth is defined by their accolades, and failure to address this pressing issue will result in a generation grappling with severe mental health consequences.

A Sage's Scribble

2024-04-01T00:00:00Z

Awards: Silver Key (Scholastic Art and Writing Awards)

Intro: In the dead of night, the scratching of a quill echoes softly. Inspired by my father's passion writing, this piece illustrates the fervent dedication of a writer nearing the culmination of his life's work.

Tales of gods, of heroes, of loss, of reunion, stories from one world to another. Emotions and tears gush from what seemingly is nothing more than ink on paper. Stories yet untold, ideas yet undiscovered, conversations yet to be held… It's a book.

Scratch, scratch, scratch, the sound of a quill flying seamlessly across a piece of paper.

A hunched back, arms ripping across the table, heaps of crumbled paper. The damp, moist, smell of a room left unattended. Draw closer and time seemingly halts its journey … the world slows.

In this space, only the man and his quill can be seen. Everything else vanishes, ceasing to exist. Thump, thump, thump, the man's heart audibly beats as ideas soar past him. The man desperately reaches out, trying to grasp but one fleeting thought. Seconds turn into minutes, minutes into hours, hours into days. Years pass by.

The man finally looks up … the quill clatters onto the oak desk … for a moment, the holy silence breaks. His life, his deepest thoughts … his soul, all contained in a book. The book on his desk … his magnum opus. The book yearns to be opened, crying out to be read, waiting to talk to someone.

Chip Wars: US and China

2023-09-03T00:00:00Z

Introduction

Over the past few years, chips and AI have been hot topics worldwide. The emergence of generative AI, such as ChatGPT and PaLM, has captivated many with its futuristic potential. However, concerns have been raised regarding the military applications of AI.

The United States has been particularly vocal about its worries, especially concerning China's utilization of AI. With potential AI applications in the military, like lethal autonomous weapons systems (LAWS), the US has taken measures to impede China's AI technology development. Specifically, the US has targeted China's access to advanced chips used in AI development, with President Biden citing national defense purposes for imposing sanctions on China.

These concerns are valid, given the instances of various militaries globally using AI to further their interests. For instance, the Kargu-2 drone attack in Libya involved autonomous drones (LAWS) operated by GNA-affiliated forces attacking HAF forces without requiring data connectivity between the operator and the munition. This example illustrates the growing use of AI in military settings.

In the AI training space, specialized chips are crucial for training and developing AI models efficiently. The US leads in technology used for training AI models, with companies like Nvidia, AMD, Intel, Micron, Amazon, and Google at the forefront. These US companies are leaders in chips and cloud services, vital technologies for AI model training. Consequently, many countries and companies, including China, depend on the US for AI development technology.

To limit China's access to cutting-edge technology and hinder its AI research and development, the US has imposed restrictions on China's access to advanced chips and other AI training technology. The goal is to prevent China from utilizing AI tools for military and other potentially harmful purposes.

Consequences

While these bans may seem like a good plan, their consequences are severe. The Semiconductor Industry Association (SIA), representing the US semiconductor industry, warns that the US' actions may diminish its semiconductor industry's competitiveness, disrupt supply chains, create market uncertainty, and lead to retaliatory actions by China. China accounted for over a third of the world's semiconductor purchases, worth $180 billion, last year, highlighting its significant influence in the chip industry. Thus, the US' bold moves could damage its share in the chip market.

The impact on US chipmakers has been profound, with stock prices experiencing volatility and losses, exacerbated by the ongoing chip shortage causing supply chain disruptions. For instance, Nvidia warned that the US sanctions would result in $400 million in potential lost Chinese sales.

While the full consequences of the sanctions remain to be seen, higher AI chip prices, hindered AI development, and supply chain issues are expected outcomes.

China's Response

China has responded to the US sanctions with its own measures. It has banned exports of germanium and gallium, rare minerals used in chip production, which will impact the chip market due to China's significant global share of production. Moreover, China threatens to ban the export of rare earth metals used in chip production, leading to soaring stocks of companies in these industries.

China has also banned Chinese companies from buying from US-based companies like Micron, promoting the growth of the Chinese market and retaliating financially against the US' sanctions. These actions have dealt significant blows to US companies' bottom line.

China's firm stance on the US sanctions further deepens the divide between the two economic powerhouses. Chinese ambassador Xie expressed reluctance to start a trade or technological war, indicating that a trade war would be detrimental to both sides. Thus, the US would be wise to reconsider its sanctions.

Flaw in Sanctions

A significant flaw in the series of sanctions is the lack of unity among US allies in implementing them. East Asian allies like South Korea and Taiwan are critical players in the chip industry, and if they don't join the US in its sanctions, it will lead to significant market share losses for the US while China seeks ways to bypass sanctions. A lack of unity in implementing the sanctions poses a great risk to the US' policy.

The US is pushing these sanctions to its allies, subjecting US allies operating in China to sanctions and limitations. Japan and the Netherlands have already agreed to restrict some exports of advanced chip-making technology to China. While this will impact the Chinese chip-making industry, the US allowing South Korea and Taiwan to maintain and expand their chip-making operations in China weakens the US' strategy compared to an "all-or-nothing" approach.

Company Responses

Nvidia has been lobbying for looser regulation as the bans have severely impacted their bottom line. Due to the restrictions, Nvidia can't sell its flagship AI chips, the A100, in China, leading them to develop the A800 chips, downgraded versions of the A100 with reduced performance.

The bans are particularly challenging for smaller US companies with limited resources to outbid bigger industry giants. Startups have been forced to find creative ways to shrink AI models and improve efficiency, including buying their own physical servers or switching to less sought-after cloud providers. China has been a significant source of investment for US startups, and these sanctions could prove detrimental to the AI and chip startup industry, which thrives on technological innovation.

The negative effects may open opportunities for government-funded startups and companies in China to take the lead in AI research and chip development. The US sanctions have slowed AI research and chip development in the US, creating a void that many countries are eager to fill, including China and India, posing a risk to the US market share.

Government Response

The US government has taken steps to mitigate the effects of the sanctions. The House passed a $280 billion bill to boost US semiconductor manufacturing, including subsidies for expanding the domestic semiconductor industry and investment in science and technology research into AI. Many leading chip manufacturers, like Samsung and TSMC, have responded positively, investing billions in building new plants in the US.

However, this bill also faces challenges, including the clash between Asian and American work culture as Asian manufacturing companies establish fabs in the US. This worker problem could complicate matters and further impact manufacturing in the US. Despite these challenges, the surge of plants being built in the US could help alleviate supply chain issues.

The government's goal is not only to halt China's AI development but also to establish the US as the world's leader in chip manufacturing and AI research. To maintain its lead over China, the US aims to foster technological advancements through these sanctions.

Conclusion

The US-China AI chip sanctions have ignited a global debate on the appropriate use of AI technology, particularly in military applications. While the US has taken decisive actions to curb China's AI technology development, the consequences of these sanctions have been severe, impacting both nations and extending beyond their borders. Moving forward, a delicate balancing act is required to address these challenges while fostering international cooperation in the field of AI. Close monitoring and proactive measures will be crucial to mitigate potential risks and promote technological advancements.

Unveiling the Beauty of Volunteering

2023-08-31T00:00:00Z

Introduction

As the curtain falls on an eventful summer, I find myself pausing to reflect on these fleeting months—specifically, the tapestry of moments woven through my summer of volunteering. Amid the kaleidoscope of experiences, one truth emerges: this summer has kindled a profound revelation about the beauty of service.

My summer volunteering comprised of three roles: elementary school summer camp, Discovery World Summer camp, and Discovery World VR. Despite being swamped with responsibilities, I was able to devote a total of 90 hours to volunteering over the course of the summer. I wanted to share some realizations, thoughts, and experiences I had during my time volunteering.

Exploring My Roles

Before I talk about my experience, I wanted to explain what my roles pertained. I had three different roles with very different responsibilities and experiences.

My role as an elementary school summer camp volunteer was one of, frankly, exhaustion and energy. My role was laughably simple – play with the campers and aid with the arts and crafts. Despite the task's simplicity, the tasks proved quite exhausting in the sun's relentless batter.

As a Discovery World summer camp volunteer, I was tasked with "assisting the teacher with whatever they need". Indeed, the description was quite vague, but my role was quite broad in nature. From taking kids to the bathroom, handing out paper, and preserving a semblance of peace (an effort proved futile), I was essentially a teacher's assistant. As my days in school are spent as a "student" and not a "teacher", I rarely get the chance to be in a classroom from the perspective of a teacher.

Meanwhile, my mantle as a VR Docent at Discovery World saw me embracing an array of responsibilities. I guided guests into the realms of virtual reality, elucidated gaming choices, facilitated setup, and ensured their exit, all while maintaining the pristine state of headsets.

Personal Insight

To be honest and quite frank, my time spent volunteering wasn't always illuminated by sunshine and rainbows. There were moments when fatigue, annoyance, and even frustration cast shadows over my experience. Yet, it was within this realm of exhaustion and the crucible of irritation that a revelation took shape – an epiphany forged amidst discomfort. As I navigated through the desert of challenges, it dawned on me that my life has been graced by remarkable individuals who have invested their time and efforts to sculpt the person I am today. Through the act of volunteering and extending a helping hand amidst my own bustling schedule, I uncovered a fresh perspective. I was hit with an epiphany, the immense contributions others have made to my journey of growth and accomplishment were suddenly illuminated. A newfound appreciation bloomed for the significant people in my life, igniting a fierce motivation within me – a drive to aspire for excellence and a commitment to extending aid to those in need.

To say that my eyes had a veil uncover them would be an understatement. The transformation and realization I had during my experience volunteering was nothing short of enlightening. In my 90 hours of volunteering, I constantly found myself laughing, smiling, and genuinely enjoying myself. Rather than feeling like a chore, my time volunteering felt like a gift, a gift of being able to spend time helping others. Before this summer, I had never felt this ardent about volunteering, though that is not to say I previously didn't enjoy volunteering. Simply put, this summer has been a transformative period where I was able to find my genuine joy and passion in volunteering and helping others.

Conclusion

Through my 90 hours of summer volunteering, I was able to experience a transformative summer of gratitude and jubilation. Realizations followed by laughter, volunteering has truly uncovered my eyes and opened my heart in ways I could not fathom.

With these realizations resonating in my heart, I urge you to accept volunteering's warm invite. As you step into this world of service, you step onto a path where your steps echo with purpose and your heart resonates with joy. As my summer draws its final breath, the symphony of volunteering remains, a melody of gratitude and fulfillment that will forever serenade my soul.

Harvard Summer Camp

2023-08-08T00:00:00Z

Introduction

This summer, I had the remarkable opportunity to attend Harvard's Pre-College summer camp, an intensive two-week program focused on growth and knowledge. As I write this post at the airport, I am still awed by the two weeks of enlightenment I experienced through this camp. Through the classes and passport activities, I was able to savor every moment spent at the camp. I hope to share some of my experiences and thoughts about Harvard's Pre-College summer camp.

Classes

I took the "Democracy, Development, and Violence: An Introduction to Comparative Politics" class. The class aimed to introduce the world of comparative politics through comprehensive readings, class discussions, and lectures. All these aspects synergized to create two weeks of profound learning.

Every day, we were assigned textbook readings and exploratory readings. The textbook readings were generally around 50-100 pages in size and were drawn from various comparative politics books and papers. These texts consisted of various political theories and concepts that laid the groundwork for the lectures and discussions. Though challenging in terms of length, vocabulary, and theory, it was quite intriguing to delve into the world of comparative politics.

In addition to the daily textbook reading, we were assigned an exploration reading. The exploratory readings were a selection of research papers that delved into specific topics and case studies. For example, one of the exploratory readings I chose delved into economic policies promoting growth with the Asian Tigers as the case study. These exploratory readings allowed us to dive deeper into specific topics we were interested in and explore them with a comparative politics lens.

In class, we would hold daily discussions about our day's readings. Within small groups, we would discuss our exploration readings, creating a space to reflect on the reading and teach our peers. We would then discuss the readings as a whole class. Through these discussions, we were able to broaden our perspectives on the readings and gain an even deeper understanding of the topic at hand. I particularly enjoyed these discussions as everyone had the chance to share their insights, often relating the readings to their own experiences.

The final aspect of the class was the lectures. Though the term "lectures" may sound intimidating, our professor made them anything but intimidating. The lectures focused on the day's textbook reading, with the professor explaining the discussed topics and delving even deeper. Through slideshow presentations, the use of the blackboard, and real-world examples, the lectures were intuitive and comprehensive. The professor actively encouraged class participation by prompting students to recall the readings and engage in discussions about the lesson. The lectures were both easy to understand and rich in content. It was evident that the professor was both knowledgeable and passionate about the topics. The professor broke down complex theories and topics into digestible bits that came together to form the big picture.

I am genuinely surprised and taken aback by how much I have learned in the past two weeks. Although I entered this class with a limited background in politics, I now emerge with an expansive and comprehensive understanding of comparative politics. The rate at which I was able to learn and acquire knowledge was nothing short of miraculous. The readings, class discussions, and lectures created a unique formula through which I was able to achieve rapid growth. I have no doubt that the knowledge and passion for comparative politics I gained in this class will assist me in my future endeavors.

Passport Activities

The passport activities are a set of eight different activities that aim to encompass various aspects of college life and encourage the formation of new connections. These activities fall into four different categories: academic exploration, college readiness, social and residential activities, and trips/recreation.

The academic exploration passport activities were special workshops that offered us a glimpse into different professional fields. These events were led by professors who explained various aspects of their fields and professions. Personally, I attended the "Anatomy of Clinical Study" and "Improving How We Work with Data Analytics" seminars. I found these events particularly helpful and interesting because we received firsthand testimonies about their fields and the nature of their work. In the case of the clinical study seminar, the professor discussed how research is conducted and published, providing unique insights into the arduous process. In the case of the data analytics class, the professor explained the unique applications of data analytics in various fields and methods of utilizing data analytics.

The college readiness passport activities were designed to prepare students for college and their professional lives. This was achieved through various seminars focused on teaching essential skills such as note-taking, test-taking, effective reading, and communication. I participated in the "Raising Your Communication Game" and "Critical Thinking: Reading Effectively, Note-Taking, & Test Taking" seminars. These seminars proved to be immensely helpful in preparing me for college life. I gained insights into different aspects of college life and greatly benefited from the tips and tricks provided by the professors.

The social and residential activities passport activities encouraged the meeting of new people and connecting with peers. These events pushed everyone out of their comfort zones, facilitating interactions with new individuals. Personally, I chose the "Awkward Prom" and "Treasure Hunt" as my two activities. Through these events, I stepped out of my comfort zone and met new people. I found these activities instrumental in fostering new connections. To be honest, I hadn't actively sought out new people during my time at the camp, and these activities provided an environment where forming connections was made easier.

The trips and recreational passport activities played a significant role in creating a sense of community and nurturing friendships. These events provided us with the opportunity to explore our community with our peers. I personally opted for the Boston trip and Canobie Lake Park excursions, both of which I wholeheartedly recommend. Through these excursions, I made new friends and strengthened existing bonds. The degree of freedom and autonomy granted to us was both surprising and delightful. This autonomy added to the college experience and introduced an element of exploration that would otherwise not have been possible.

Conclusion

My experience at Harvard's Pre-College summer camp was truly unforgettable. The knowledge gained, connections forged, and memories created are elements I will cherish forever. The insights and experiences I've gained from this camp are immeasurable, and I extend my gratitude to all those who contributed to making this experience as wonderful as it was. Once again, I am reminded that the pursuit of knowledge is an unending journey of a lifetime.

EFL Summer Camp

2023-07-19T00:00:00Z

Introduction

This summer, I had the privilege of attending the EFL Cornell Summer camp, a transformative week-long camp focused on developing leadership and economic skills. Even as I write this blog post, I am overwhelmed with emotions of gratitude and thanks to all who made this camp a life-changing experience. I hope to share my experiences, thoughts, and gratitude through this blog post.

As an overnight college camp, many elements contributed to creating this wonderful experience. The camp had three main components: economics classes, leadership activities, and recreation. All these pieces came together to paint the unforgettable experience at EFL.

Classes

One of the main focuses of this camp was to nurture our growth as economists. This goal was achieved through a series of captivating and informative lectures and activities. Professor Kessler, a Senior Lecturer of Economics at Purdue University Fort Wayne, led the lectures for the week. His use of anecdotes and interactive activities made the lectures both captivating and interesting. The activities pushed us to apply the economic concepts we had just learned, helping us internalize the knowledge. Professor Kessler's approachable nature encouraged student participation, and he was always eager to answer questions. The use of Peardecks and infographics made the content surprisingly accessible. Overall, I felt myself growing as an economist, thanks to the professor and my fellow classmates.

Leadership Activities

The highlight of the camp was undoubtedly the leadership activities. The primary purpose of this camp was to help us discover and grow as leaders, and it excelled in achieving this goal. Each day presented us with a multitude of leadership activities that pushed us to our limits. We were forced to self-reflect and evaluate ourselves as leaders and as individuals. Activities like the Trust Reach built camaraderie and trust among us, while others, like the Swamp, forced us in leadership roles. This daily barrage of challenges enabled me to develop a leadership mindset and reflect on my own abilities as a leader.

Recreation

The recreational activities played a substantial role in creating a supportive community within our camp. We engaged in a variety of recreational activities, including soccer (a camp favorite), movies, bowling, card games, and more. Through these activities, we got to know each other, shared our experiences, and built trust among ourselves. The recreational activities significantly contributed to quickly forming strong connections among the campers. Despite the one-week time constraint, I was pleasantly surprised to find that I connected with a lot of different people.

Conclusion

My time at the EFL Summer Camp has nurtured a leadership and growth mindset within me. The camp provided me with the opportunity to reflect, expand my comfort zone, and grow as a leader. Even now, I'm filled with gratitude for my classmates and the staff who joined me on this journey of growth. This camp has been a life-altering experience for me, and I wholeheartedly encourage any aspiring economist and leader to join EFL for a week of transformation.

Kenyon Online Workshop

2023-07-05T00:00:00Z

Introduction

This summer, I had the incredible opportunity to attend Kenyon's Online Writing Workshop, an immersive week-long experience centered around poetry and creative writing. As I look back on this transformative journey, I find myself filled with gratitude for the knowledge gained, friendships formed, and the creative spark that has been ignited within me. In this blog post, I aim to share my experiences at the camp, from captivating guest speakers and group activities to the enriching workshops that expanded my understanding of writing.

Guest Speakers and Group Activities:

One of the highlights of the workshop was the presence of esteemed guest speakers Richie Hofmann and Molly McCully Brown. Their virtual reading sessions, along with the insightful Q&A sessions that followed, provided a unique opportunity to delve into the minds of seasoned professionals in the field of writing. It was truly inspiring to hear them share their works and offer valuable insights into their creative processes.

In addition to the guest speakers, the camp organized various group activities that fostered camaraderie among the participants. The meet and greet sessions, participant readings, and the final large group meeting were all platforms where I could connect with fellow writers, share our work, and appreciate each other's talents. These activities created a sense of community and allowed me to form meaningful connections that I will cherish long after the camp.

Workshops

The heart of the program lay in the engaging and thought-provoking workshops. Each session followed a structured approach that encouraged exploration and growth. We began with a 10-minute free-write, an exercise that unleashed our thoughts onto the page without inhibition. Then, we would share our works and discuss the unique aspects of each piece, nurturing a supportive and collaborative environment.

Throughout the workshop, we delved into various genres of poetry and writing, reading countless works by critically acclaimed authors from around the world. By analyzing their distinct styles and techniques, we gained invaluable insights into the craft. This analysis served as a springboard for our own creative endeavors. Armed with newfound inspiration, we were given prompts that challenged us to incorporate the observed techniques into our own writing.

The workshops not only nurtured my creativity but also helped me overcome writer's block. The prompts provided a fresh perspective and acted as catalysts for my imagination. Sharing our creations with the group fostered a sense of accountability and encouraged me to explore new depths in my writing. Witnessing the diversity of works and hearing the unique voices of my peers further expanded my own horizons as a writer.

Reflection

Undoubtedly, the Kenyon Online Writing Workshop has been a life-altering experience for me. It reignited a passion that had lain dormant for far too long and opened up new pathways in my creative journey. My skills in fiction and poetry have soared to new heights, and the knowledge and inspiration gained from this camp have had a profound impact on me.

As I reflect on this unforgettable experience, I am filled with gratitude for the connections made, the wisdom imparted by the guest speakers, and the guidance provided during the workshops. Kenyon's workshop has not only sharpened my writing skills but has also instilled in me a sense of belonging within a vibrant community of fellow writers.

Conclusion

In conclusion, the Kenyon Online Writing Workshop has been a remarkable journey of self-discovery and creative growth. It has provided me with invaluable tools, techniques, and inspiration that will continue to shape my writing for years to come. I am grateful for the opportunity to have participated in this transformative experience and would encourage any aspiring writer to seize the chance to attend such a workshop. Here's to the words that have found life, the connections that have been forged, and the unwavering passion that now fuels my creative endeavors.

Her Last Silence

2021-12-14T00:00:00Z

An onyx black sea churned beneath us, it's waters roaring with inferno, yet Her silence spoke louder. Glossy black fire spat from the depths of what should have been calm waters, as if the underworld itself beckoned. Strands of her hair, tinged with ashes, danced in the sulfurous wind. Her eyes, usually the color of dawn, now reflected the burning infernal glow. Standing before the edge, we felt neither fear nor excitement—only silence. A silence we'd never been able to afford in all our years together. Silence from my mortal fate, silence from the echoes of Paradise lost, silence from the whispers of the Creator who cast Her out.

As She gripped my hand, I could hear her pulse flutter like trapped wings—a life force whispering its final song. The veins traced ethereal patterns beneath Her alabaster skin, and that familiar fragrance of divine nectar still clung to Her, even after Her fall. Her touch was cold now, so cold, yet facing the depths of the abyss, She remained otherworldly. I should have known then. Should have seen how Her feet touched earth with a silence no mortal could achieve, how the ashes never quite settled on Her shoulders.

Thump, thump, thump. One glance, one nod, one jump. Gravel crunched beneath our feet, a sharp inhale of our last breath, and lifted by the winds echoing Her name.

Weightless and free, yet grounded and united. Perhaps this was Her dream, soaring through the skies with regained wings—to be an angel once more. And perhaps this was the fulfillment of my own desperate wish—to follow her beyond mortal bounds, to be united with Her one final time.

We were one in that moment, bound by a single dream. We leaped not for the fiery depths but for the star-strewn heavens above. Yet even the most beautiful dreams must end. The winds that had carried us began to fail, and the burning sea reached up with hungry flames.

Bracing for oblivion, I turned for Her embrace. Yet, at that moment, She seemed chasms away. The Fate of mortality and Curse of divinity separated the breath between us. A pitiful smile, eyes deep with sorrow, and in Her last silence, a mouthed 'I'm sorry' that echoed louder than any scream. As She ascended on newly born wings, I understood at last—I had been Her final test, Her path to redemption. The burning depths roared their welcome, while She ascended in divine silence, to Hers.